By ELIZABETH ANGSIOCO
Ms. Angsioco is national chairperson of the Democratic Socialist Women of the Philippines.
Hearing the President's pronouncements on divorce made me cringe. When President Benigno S. Aquino III stated that divorce in the Philippines is a no-no, but in the same breath said that those who want to remarry may just use legal separation, my initial reaction was - "Does he know that legal separation does not allow remarriage?"
The President contradicted himself and his statement may be described as confused, or perhaps, misguided. Unfortunately, Presidential pronouncements are usually taken as the administration's positions on issues and strongly influence Congress decisions. In this case, the President's message is unclear.
His statement that legal separation should be enough for couples who cannot stay together and who want to remarry reveals wrong appreciation of existing laws. Legal separation does not dissolve the marriage and only settles separation of abode, and in some cases, of properties.
Our work with women from all over the country taught me that some marriages break down, divorce or no divorce. Many times, women's decision to get out of relationships is due to abuse and violence they suffered for years and could no longer bear.
For these women, legal separation is not enough even if they do not have plans of remarrying. Reports consistently show that in this country, violence and other forms of abuse against women are primarily committed by husbands and partners, the very same people who vowed to love and protect them "till death do they part." We know of cases where even if legally separated, women are unable to escape abuse from husbands because they remain "owned" by them in marriage.
President Aquino also said that the sanctity of marriage must be protected and I agree. However, this should not be at the expense of women, particularly those who are victims of abuse.
Does the President really believe that those abused should not be given another chance at life? Would the President prefer women to suffer in silence for the sake of making it appear that their marriages are intact even if in reality, they have broken down? Mr. President, many women want to be free from abusive relationships. The goal is to get their lives back. Whether they will remarry or not is beside the point. The government, which you lead, should make possible women's freedom from abuse within marriages. Legalizing divorce will help and we hope that you will side with us on this urgent matter. We want to know if you are for or against divorce.
I am a single mom having been separated from my ex-husband for the past 18 years. I have raised my only daughter on my own without any financial assistance from my ex. I was also a victim of physical abuse and violence, by my ex who is also irresponsible, egoistic and lazy. I am partly taking the blame for this mistake because it was a choice that I made when I was still young many years ago. I have not remarried nor have any intention of remarrying but I speak for a lot of women who are also trapped in this predicament.
Maybe a law can be passed for those who have been separated for more than 10/15 years to be granted an annullment/divorce provided that both parties agree to it. The process should no longer be a difficut and expensive. Annulment/divorce is an long and expensive process and I would rather keep the money and use it to pay for my daughter's education.
There are a lot of women "living immorally" with another man just because they cannot afford an annulment. While those who can afford it can have a "decent" second chance.
And if I die tomorrow, what would happen to the savings/properties (my SSS/GSIS plan) that I worked hard for all these years?. Is this still considered conjugal property? Does my daughter need to share this with her irresponsible father who is now living with his --th wife? I can only hope and pray that I will outlive my ex... :)
As an American looking to come and live in your country and hopefully find a good wife, I'm appalled at what the president has said - mostly because i know millions of women here who are or have suffered under the same circumstances.
I also plead to president Aquino to rethink his stand and give freedom from both physical and mental abuse to those women who need to be free from such things. I've seen this in my own family also, my sisters and brothers and others. "no one" should have to live their life like that ever!!
Divorce is high here 1 out of 2, way to high by all means, whats needed here and every where is pre marriage counseling with all couples so they do not rush into marriage for all the wrong reasons.
Could the President's statement be in the context of re-marriage after the death of a spouse?
How can we as readers assail the president's supposed contradictory statement if there is no context provided.
Death does not dissolve marriage, but at the same time -this provides that the living spouse is allowed to re-marry.
President Aquino is a devout Roman Catholic, and going off of his faith- divorce is simply not allowed in the Catholic faith. So I understand his statement.
Actually, death does disolve a marraige. Part of the marriage vow is "Until death do us part."
People only look at the benefit of divorce without realizing how much divorce has wrecked families and the society at large in all the countries that allow divorce. That is why the moral standards of the world is going down the drain, people don't have respect for anything anymore. And this includes marriage.
Marriages that were separated for than 15 years should be annulled. To annul civil marriage it should be done in the court of law. Similarly church marriages should be annulled by the bishop.
Contrary to what others had perceived, Divorce is "a" (not "the") solution for couple with irreconcilable differences. This allows previously wed couples to re-marry to whomever they find compatible (or a companion at least). Divorce should not be made to look bad because we always had done it with the world today. A criminal is "technically" divorced in the society when convicted, separated from all the benefits of the free society and also from his family and loved ones. It is so sad that a country where the choice of religion had been liberated still holds the freedom of disengagement on the charge of following God's commandments. It is not divorce that wrecks families, it is the couple who separated. It is the weakness of the foundation of their marriage, and the causes that is always inherent to humans. If they somehow changed their minds after all the years they have separated, is it prohibited to be married again? After all, no one, not even the government interfered when they got married the first time, and now the two decided to separate, the government interferes? Discourages? Bans? The Philippines is full of hypocrites, and sadly they are all in charge.
Death does not dissolve marriage? Where is your basis? How can you be married to a corpse?
Hello everyone in the Philippines i visited your country from Cornwall England and found a beautifull wife Sheriel from Barangay Buma Leyte i married her in Bay Bay City and i dont believe in Divorce,Sheriel is visiting my country to be with me after two years of being apartt,thanks to your difficult and stubborn red tape and Visa system.We talk everyday,and will never think of Divorce.Its not common here in Cornwall either Divorce.
they should allowed divorce in the philippines, so that people can live and move on, in cicilize way, i have a sister who is separated for almost ten years, her and her ex-husband did not even live together since they get married, he is now in UK living with his new woman with a child, my sister still in the philippines and she can't even move on because she find it hard and costly to apply for annulment, it's time for the philippine government to look at this matter seriously, and approve the divorce in the philippine. thank u
I agree with you, PHILIPPINES IS FULL OF HYPOCRITES, they won't allowed divorce but it's ok for them to see men with mistresses and having kids out of wedlock, lots of women in the philippines are suffering. It's about time for them to have a descent life and live civily and be happy again.
There's should be clear cut in our laws so that it could be interpretted easily. Let's stop being hippocrite just to be a darling of everyone.
PNoy is representative of the common masses in this case. If PNoy who attained a higher education than most common people has this misinformation, what more the rest of us? We need more education/information in this matter. Just in the case of Celdran, he still believes that the Phil. Catholic Church is comprised of Padre Damaso's. He complete missed the part in history about GomBurZa. I believe the catholic priesthood are more accurately represented by GomBurZa's, the Balwegs, etc. Belonging to the tourism sector, I believe that Celdran adheres to the Imelda Marcos concept that prostitution is acceptable if the purpose is to promote tourism, and I believe that he completely subcribes to the idea of sex-tours. What is important in this issue, is to avoid blaming over population for poverty. Poverty should be blamed on misguided government strategies, cronyism and institutionalized corruption. If we allow politicians and their hacks on making overpopulation as the fall guy for poverty, our resources will be focused on reproductive health, while nobody will be watching corrupt politicians.
The issue about reproductive health is not really religious. It is very much political. The question is, does the state, or the government, have the right to neuter a particular sector of the society? Let's cut through the rhetoric and admit that the government would very much want to neuter the poor, e.g. end poverty. It is very much like one sector of the society wanting to out reproduce the other sectors.
Do not change the dogma of the catholic faith regarding marriage.Once bound by God no one can break it.
People who are in doubt of their spouse ( those who are for divorce bill ) should :
1.Marry thru judges or any legal authority.Catholic church does not recognize this marriage.
2.Getting married to the catholic church means you should abide all its law and couples are bound till death.
3.Marry to other religion that allows divorce and multimarriage.
This is the fastest way to solve the divorce issue.
Changing the law will be a tough job.
Once and for all, let us stop being pretentious, acting like hypocrites and looking the other way. Let's face it, most of our Filipino men (since they were kids) are coddled and pampered by no less than us, women, in the first place. I always remembered my mom making my sister and I do the kitchen and housework while my brothers play and watch TV. We have to change the way we raise our sons and have them take more responsibility, and treat women better. All our maids are women. And how do we treat our maids? That is why most of our Filipino men look at women like servants and abuse them.
Second, women should have a right to divorce their husbands just as men claim the right to carry many affairs and have mistresses on the side. If divorce is legal, then there will be less mistresses because the men have no excuse not to marry them. I think we have more mistresses in our country now than we have wives. Or at one point, these mistresses were wives as well but since there is no divorce, they have to settle being a mistress. What kind of value are we teaching our sons and daughters? It is NOT OKAY to divorce and break the bond of marriage but it is okay to become a mistress or lover? That is the most messed up practice that is sadly, becoming the norm in our society. That is because we have no choice. If President Aquino III realizes this and how this adamant "no-no" to divorce is actually spreading an even deadlier cancer to our society and instilling wrongful values to our children, then he will have the wisdom to see things for what it really is. Moreover, it is only teaching our children not to be honest with themselves just like we are doing - we pretend that we are not unhappy and separated but we are living separate lives and having lovers and mistresses on the side. Yes, we are hyprocrites and it's time to wake up and BE TRUE TO OURSELVES.
Divorce does not destroy family/marriage. Divorce comes after a marriage is already destroyed. It is supposed to protect both parties AND a third party if there are children. I come from a good and solid family, but I believe that divorce should be legalized for the unlucky ones who need it. I hope we open our minds to this.
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Yes, Violence Against Women(VAW) is still rampant nowadays and we could say that many of these women are being trapped and abused, no matter what they do to escape, because the violators have a way to practice rights and power over someone which is marriage. We cannot count reasons why a partner drives out a door, abuse or infidelity. Divorce must be legalized so that these people trapped can be freed, because the effect of this isolation is not just on the physical but on the emotional aspect, as well.
On the other hand, I can say that divorce is just an option. Change happens, you know. I’ve seen it myself. My mom was a battered wife and I hated my dad that made me wished I could just pull out my mom out of that life she had with my dad. My dad went to US and when he came back, he came for a change. If my parents were divorced by that time, I wouldn’t have a complete family right now.
What I can say to couples entering marriage is that they must think not just twice so they will not regret on the way. And for couples with certain situations, there is the so-called counseling, but I know it isn’t that easy. And, of course, for the president, you cannot make a general conclusion without even knowing the real situation of every person in the scenario. This is to avoid vague and confusing pronouncements.
Yes, Violence Against Women(VAW) is still rampant nowadays and we could say that many of these women are being trapped and abused, no matter what they do to escape, because the violators have a way to practice rights and power over someone which is marriage. We cannot count reasons why a partner drives out a door, abuse or infidelity. Divorce must be legalized so that these people trapped can be freed, because the effect of this isolation is not just on the physical but on the emotional aspect, as well.
On the other hand, I can say that divorce is just an option. Change happens, you know. I’ve seen it myself. My mom was a battered wife and I hated my dad that made me wished I could just pull out my mom out of that life she had with my dad. My dad went to US and when he came back, he came for a change. If my parents were divorced by that time, I wouldn’t have a complete family right now.
What I can say to couples entering marriage is that they must think not just twice so they will not regret on the way. And for couples with certain situations, there is the so-called counseling, but I know it isn’t that easy. And, of course, for the president, you cannot make a general conclusion without even knowing the real situation of every person in the scenario. This is to avoid vague and confusing pronouncements.
Yes, Violence Against Women(VAW) is still rampant nowadays and we could say that many of these women are being trapped and abused, no matter what they do to escape, because the violators have a way to practice rights and power over someone which is marriage. We cannot count reasons why a partner drives out a door, abuse or infidelity. Divorce must be legalized so that these people trapped can be freed, because the effect of this isolation is not just on the physical but on the emotional aspect, as well.
On the other hand, I can say that divorce is just an option. Change happens, you know. I’ve seen it myself. My mom was a battered wife and I hated my dad that made me wished I could just pull out my mom out of that life she had with my dad. My dad went to US and when he came back, he came for a change. If my parents were divorced by that time, I wouldn’t have a complete family right now.
What I can say to couples entering marriage is that they must think not just twice so they will not regret on the way. And for couples with certain situations, there is the so-called counseling, but I know it isn’t that easy. And, of course, for the president, you cannot make a general conclusion without even knowing the real situation of every person in the scenario. This is to avoid vague and confusing pronouncements.
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