Spoiler alert: Blogging WWE Judgment Day 2008 results

JUST tuned in to the World Wrestling Entertainment pay-per-view event Judgment Day, which started 8: 30 this morning on Jack TV. Figured I'd blog the results while enjoying my WWE fix, so stop reading if you don't want the results spoile d :) Keep refreshing the page to see the latest results. Had to run an errand and finish other stuff first, so I missed the first match, which I understand John Cena won over JBL with his trademark finisher the FU. I'm not a Cena fan and I've never liked the JBL character -- I think he was bet ter as Bradshaw in The Acolytes back in the 90s -- so I'm not exactly heartbrok en over missing this match heh :) Still, Cena's been the most popular WWE super star for the past few years, so how do you get from being the former champ to h aving the opening match in Judgment Day? (Though to be fair yeah, JBL's a forme r champ, had a 10-month run, if I remember correctly.) *** Huh, didn't see that one coming. I thought ECW champ Kane and Money in the Bank winner CM Punk would become the new WWE tag team champions, but The Miz and Jo hn Morrison retained the titles. Yup, while Kane was choke slamming The Miz, Mo rrison hit his finisher and pinned CM Punk. *** Now they're showing the promo for the match between Shawn Michaels and Chris Je richo. Haha, don't you just love the Best Acting in Sports Entertainment award Jericho gave Michaels, whom Jericho claims was pretending to be injured? Sweet Chin Mu sic by Michaels to Jericho! While favoring his "injured" leg k nee. *** Yup, pro wrestling is like soap opera for men, as my wife Ellen put it during t he few times she watched some episodes with me. Just when Jericho was apologizi ng in the run-up to their Judgment Day match, turns out Michaels wasn't injured . Yup, HBK (the Heartbreak Kid) was pretending to be pretending to be injured ( nope, he's not injured in real life, ya think?) *** Jericho makes his entrance. Break the walls down, baby. He's actually the Inter continental champ, but the title isn't on the line. What's up with that? HBK's music hits. If you haven't been watching wrestling since the 80s or 90s, yup, HBK is still using the "Sexy Boy" entrance music. The match has started. This should be good -- these are two of the best superst ars in the WWE when it comes to giving great matches, no matter whom they're fa cing. Especially Michaels. *** This is a good match, heh. We've seen the Walls of Jericho and Sweet Chin Music , but both men are still standing. OK, now Michaels is trying to make Jericho s ubmit with the Crossface, but Jericho reaches the ropes for the break. *** "Michaels' ribs." Blah-blah-blah, heh. Nah, seriously, JR rules, and he has to hype up the match. *** Damn, HBK pulls off the win! I was rooting for Y2J. Guess this is why it wasn' t a title match. *** Jericho is offering to shake Michaels' hand in a show of sportsmanship. But is it? *** Heh it really was a show of sportsmanship :) Jericho claps his hands in a show of respect for Michaels. Guess that's that for this feud, and we can now concen trate on Michaels feuding with Batista. *** Todd Grisham is interviewing the women's champ Mickie James backstage on what s he thinks of Cena's win in the opening match over JBL. Then JBL comes in and gets in Grisham's face heh :) JBL asks Grisham why the he ck he's interviewing the women's champ when he should be talking to JBL. Grisha m starts stammering as he does just that, and JBL goes on a tirade on how he's the one who was beating up Cena for 20 minutes in their match, and how Cena's t he one getting medical attention. Yeah, but you still lost, JBL :) *** I'm really forward to this one -- it's the triple-threat match for the WWE Wome n's Championship involving current titleholder Mickie James, former champ The G lamazon Beth Phoenix, and sultry Melina. James and Phoenix, unlike some other divas, are actually good in the ring, espe cially The Glamazon, who trained in pro wrestling and started out in one of the WWE developmental wrestling organizations. *** The Glamazon makes her entrance. *** Sorry was busy staring at Melina while she makes her entrance heh :) *** Mickie James makes her entrance. The match starts. I'm rooting for The Glamazon , actually, but I think they might pull off a surprise here and make the third party (because, really, it seems they're setting up either James retaining by p inning Melina, or Phoenix regaining her title by pinning Melina, so that neithe r will lose to their bitter rival) Melina the new champ. *** Have to hand it to James and Phoenix, they're making Melina look good inside th e ring, though let's give Melina credit, she's improving. How about that doubl e backbreaker The Glamazon did on Mickie James and Melina, carrying both divas and executing the backbreaker on them at the same time! Awesome! *** Sigh, so the obvious result was really what the WWE planned: Mickie James, chan neling Jake "The Snake" Roberts, as JR puts it, hits the DDT on Melina and pins her to remain the women's champ. *** Hmm, not a good sign for the challengers in the other championship matches. The tag team and women's champs retained, and now it looks like the only reason Ch ris Jericho's Intercontinental title wasn't on the line was because WWE booked Shawn Michaels to win. Aw man, I want Randy Orton to beat Triple H, and Edge to defeat The Undertaker (who isn't the reigning champ only because it was stripped from him). *** Yeah, yeah, 85 percent of the AT & T mobile voters think The Undertaker wil l beat Edge. I get it, I get it :) They're now running the promo leading up to the world heavyweight championship match between The Undertaker and Edge. *** Edge has one of the best ring entrance theme musics in the WWE. My opinion of c ourse :) Of course, my all-time faves are Stone Cold Steve Austin's "Glass Brea ks" theme and The Rock's entrance music. *** OK, I've never been as big a fan of The Undertaker as some people are, but gott a admit, his ring entrance is a classic :) Just not really a fan of the Deadma n, but he's one of the all-time greats. *** "That lethal chokehold" that The Undertaker is banned from using in this match is the gogoplata, which is a submission move in mixed martial arts; it's called the Kagato-Jime in judo. I read that The Undertaker is a big fan of MMA and so started using the gogoplata as one of his finishers. *** A countout win for The Undertaker, what the hell? *** "Excuse me!" says SmackDown general manager Vickie Guerrero. "I need to interru pt this announcement." The crowd boos. Guess they all want The Undertaker to be a seven-time champ heh :) *** She says it's common knowledge that a championship can only be won via a pin or submission, not via disqualification or countout. "You are not the champion," she tells The Undertaker. *** The Undertaker's response? A tombstone piledriver on Edge. "You son of a bitch!" Vickie Guerrero shouts at The Undertaker. "Vickie sucks!" chants begin. The World Heavyweight Championship remains vacant. *** In real life, by the way, Vickie is the widow of the late, great Eddie Guerrero , one of my favorite pro wrestlers. On screen, she plays SmackDown general mana ger and the romantic interest (ugh!) of Edge. Edge, The Rated R Superstar, is a great heel character, but I miss the days when it was Edge and Lita (sorry to all Matt Hardy fans). *** Randy Orton is talking smack to build up his cage match with reigning WWE heavy weight champ Triple H. RKO rules! *** OK, MVP is now in the ring complaining about being left off the Judgment Day ca rd. What an insult to "the highest-paid superstar" on SmackDown heh :) Now he's calling out any top-tier talent who thinks they can take on MVP, who's "still half-man, half-amazing." *** Heh speaking of Matt Hardy :) The reigning United States champion, who beat MVP for the title, comes out. MVP says the wrestling gods have answered his prayer s. he wants to fight Matt Hardy. "And bring my US title with you," MVP tells Ma tt Hardy. Matt, however, says there's another person who's going to prove he's better tha n MVP. Guess who? *** The crowd goes wild as Jeff Hardy makes his return! Heh :) Too bad, MVP, you ge t the other Hardy. *** Hell, yeah, high-flying Jeff Hardy climbs the turnuckle and hits Whisper in the Wind to pin MVP! *** Jerry "The King" Lawler wonders aloud if even Rambo can survive the steel cage, heh :) *** They're now showing the promo for the steel cage match between WWE champion Tri ple H and the guy he beat at Backlash (in a fatal four-way also involving chall engers John Cena and JBL) to win the title, Randy Orton. By the way, in case you're wondering why there's a WWE Championship and a WWE W orld Heavyweight Championship, that's because the Raw champ holds the WWE Champ ionship, while the SmackDown champ has the World Heavyweight title. *** Remember, the one who'll win the cage match is the person who wins via pinfall, submission or whose feet first touch the floor when he gets out of the cage, e ither by climbing over the side or using the steel door. Randy Orton makes his entrance. He stares at the steel cage and touches it befo re stepping inside the ring. Triple H, The Game, makes his entrance. They're now being introduced inside the ring. The Game versus RKO for the WWE Championship! *** I want Orton to win this match, but I really don't think they're going to take the title away from Triple H so soon after Backlash. Jerry "The King" Lawler keeps talking about being afraid to get inside the "min d of Orton." His dark thoughts. Orton as "pure evil." Heh :) *** Triple H applies the figure-four leglock on Randy Orton. Shades of his idol Ri c Flair, who was formerly with Evolution together withTriple H, Orton, and Bati sta. *** Failed RKO attempt. Failed Pedigree attempt. Orton tries to hit Triple H with a steel chair. Hey, it's legal! Triple H avoids the chair and hits the facebuste r. Triple H now has the chair, but Orton hits him with low blow. Orton grabs th e chair. Chair shot on Triple H, and then DDTs Triple H into the chair. *** Triple H survives the near-fall. Orton sets up the chair in the middle of the ring and tries to RKO Triple H into it, but Triple H counters. *** Orton tries to climb over the side of the cage, but Triple H pulls him. Triple H then tries to make his own escape, but no go. Now both men are battling on th e ropes. Triple H seems to be attempting to Pedigree Triple H from the top rope , but Orton counters and is now making his way over the side of the cage, but j ust as Orton reaches the other side and starts climbing down, Triple H keeps hi m dangling with a chokehold. *** Both men are now in the middle of the ring. Triple H hits a spinebuster and tri es to pedigree Orton into the chair laid out in the ring, but Orton counters. T riple H lands on the chair. The Game, however, will not be denied. He dodges a rushing Orton, and then hit s Orton with the steel chair. Triple H then pedigrees Orton for the three-count to retain the WWE Championship. So much for the Age of Orton heh :) Triple H is still champ. *** Well, WWE went for predictability, and just as the trend in the earlier matches boded, all the champs retained their titles (well, that "son of a bitch" The U ndertaker, according to Vickie Guerrero, isn't the World Heavyweight champ but that's just a technicality). Funny enough, to me the most entertaining match in this PPV card was the triple -threat match for the women's title. I would have loved to have seen Chris Jeri cho win over Shawn Michaels, because they haven't really done anything with Y2J since he came back to the WWE, and now even his Intercontinental title looks i rrelevant. Show some respect for the man and the title. Anyway, Judgment Day is over.