JUST tuned in to the World Wrestling Entertainment pay-per-view event Judgment Day, which started 8: 30 this morning on Jack TV. Figured I’d blog the results while enjoying my WWE fix, so stop reading if you don’t want the results spoiled Keep refreshing the page to see the latest results.

Had to run an errand and finish other stuff first, so I missed the first match, which I understand John Cena won over JBL with his trademark finisher the FU. I’m not a Cena fan and I’ve never liked the JBL character — I think he was better as Bradshaw in The Acolytes back in the 90s — so I’m not exactly heartbroken over missing this match heh Still, Cena’s been the most popular WWE superstar for the past few years, so how do you get from being the former champ to having the opening match in Judgment Day? (Though to be fair yeah, JBL’s a former champ, had a 10-month run, if I remember correctly.)

***

Huh, didn’t see that one coming. I thought ECW champ Kane and Money in the Bank winner CM Punk would become the new WWE tag team champions, but The Miz and John Morrison retained the titles. Yup, while Kane was choke slamming The Miz, Morrison hit his finisher and pinned CM Punk.

***

Now they’re showing the promo for the match between Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho.

Haha, don’t you just love the Best Acting in Sports Entertainment award Jericho gave Michaels, whom Jericho claims was pretending to be injured? Sweet Chin Music by Michaels to Jericho! While favoring his “injured” leg knee.

***

Yup, pro wrestling is like soap opera for men, as my wife Ellen put it during the few times she watched some episodes with me. Just when Jericho was apologizing in the run-up to their Judgment Day match, turns out Michaels wasn’t injured. Yup, HBK (the Heartbreak Kid) was pretending to be pretending to be injured (nope, he’s not injured in real life, ya think?)

***

Jericho makes his entrance. Break the walls down, baby. He’s actually the Intercontinental champ, but the title isn’t on the line. What’s up with that?

HBK’s music hits. If you haven’t been watching wrestling since the 80s or 90s, yup, HBK is still using the “Sexy Boy” entrance music.

The match has started. This should be good — these are two of the best superstars in the WWE when it comes to giving great matches, no matter whom they’re facing. Especially Michaels.

***

This is a good match, heh. We’ve seen the Walls of Jericho and Sweet Chin Music, but both men are still standing. OK, now Michaels is trying to make Jericho submit with the Crossface, but Jericho reaches the ropes for the break.

***

“Michaels’ ribs.” Blah-blah-blah, heh. Nah, seriously, JR rules, and he has to hype up the match.

***

Damn, HBK pulls off the win! I was rooting for Y2J. Guess this is why it wasn’t a title match.

***

Jericho is offering to shake Michaels’ hand in a show of sportsmanship. But is it?

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Heh it really was a show of sportsmanship Jericho claps his hands in a show of respect for Michaels. Guess that’s that for this feud, and we can now concentrate on Michaels feuding with Batista.

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Todd Grisham is interviewing the women’s champ Mickie James backstage on what she thinks of Cena’s win in the opening match over JBL.

Then JBL comes in and gets in Grisham’s face heh JBL asks Grisham why the heck he’s interviewing the women’s champ when he should be talking to JBL. Grisham starts stammering as he does just that, and JBL goes on a tirade on how he’s the one who was beating up Cena for 20 minutes in their match, and how Cena’s the one getting medical attention. Yeah, but you still lost, JBL

***

I’m really forward to this one — it’s the triple-threat match for the WWE Women’s Championship involving current titleholder Mickie James, former champ The Glamazon Beth Phoenix, and sultry Melina.

James and Phoenix, unlike some other divas, are actually good in the ring, especially The Glamazon, who trained in pro wrestling and started out in one of the WWE developmental wrestling organizations.

***

The Glamazon makes her entrance.

***

Sorry was busy staring at Melina while she makes her entrance heh

***

Mickie James makes her entrance. The match starts. I’m rooting for The Glamazon, actually, but I think they might pull off a surprise here and make the third party (because, really, it seems they’re setting up either James retaining by pinning Melina, or Phoenix regaining her title by pinning Melina, so that neither will lose to their bitter rival) Melina the new champ.

***

Have to hand it to James and Phoenix, they’re making Melina look good inside the ring, though let’s give Melina credit, she’s improving. How about that double backbreaker The Glamazon did on Mickie James and Melina, carrying both divas and executing the backbreaker on them at the same time! Awesome!

***

Sigh, so the obvious result was really what the WWE planned: Mickie James, channeling Jake “The Snake” Roberts, as JR puts it, hits the DDT on Melina and pins her to remain the women’s champ.

***

Hmm, not a good sign for the challengers in the other championship matches. The tag team and women’s champs retained, and now it looks like the only reason Chris Jericho’s Intercontinental title wasn’t on the line was because WWE booked Shawn Michaels to win.

Aw man, I want Randy Orton to beat Triple H, and Edge to defeat The Undertaker (who isn’t the reigning champ only because it was stripped from him).

***

Yeah, yeah, 85 percent of the AT & T mobile voters think The Undertaker will beat Edge. I get it, I get it

They’re now running the promo leading up to the world heavyweight championship match between The Undertaker and Edge.

***

Edge has one of the best ring entrance theme musics in the WWE. My opinion of course Of course, my all-time faves are Stone Cold Steve Austin’s “Glass Breaks” theme and The Rock’s entrance music.

***

OK, I’ve never been as big a fan of The Undertaker as some people are, but gotta admit, his ring entrance is a classic Just not really a fan of the Deadman, but he’s one of the all-time greats.

***

“That lethal chokehold” that The Undertaker is banned from using in this match is the gogoplata, which is a submission move in mixed martial arts; it’s called the Kagato-Jime in judo. I read that The Undertaker is a big fan of MMA and so started using the gogoplata as one of his finishers.

***

A countout win for The Undertaker, what the hell?

***

“Excuse me!” says SmackDown general manager Vickie Guerrero. “I need to interrupt this announcement.” The crowd boos. Guess they all want The Undertaker to be a seven-time champ heh

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She says it’s common knowledge that a championship can only be won via a pin or submission, not via disqualification or countout.

“You are not the champion,” she tells The Undertaker.

***

The Undertaker’s response? A tombstone piledriver on Edge.

“You son of a bitch!” Vickie Guerrero shouts at The Undertaker.

“Vickie sucks!” chants begin.

The World Heavyweight Championship remains vacant.

***

In real life, by the way, Vickie is the widow of the late, great Eddie Guerrero, one of my favorite pro wrestlers. On screen, she plays SmackDown general manager and the romantic interest (ugh!) of Edge. Edge, The Rated R Superstar, is a great heel character, but I miss the days when it was Edge and Lita (sorry to all Matt Hardy fans).

***

Randy Orton is talking smack to build up his cage match with reigning WWE heavyweight champ Triple H. RKO rules!

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OK, MVP is now in the ring complaining about being left off the Judgment Day card. What an insult to “the highest-paid superstar” on SmackDown heh

Now he’s calling out any top-tier talent who thinks they can take on MVP, who’s “still half-man, half-amazing.”

***

Heh speaking of Matt Hardy The reigning United States champion, who beat MVP for the title, comes out. MVP says the wrestling gods have answered his prayers. he wants to fight Matt Hardy. “And bring my US title with you,” MVP tells Matt Hardy.

Matt, however, says there’s another person who’s going to prove he’s better than MVP.

Guess who?

***

The crowd goes wild as Jeff Hardy makes his return! Heh Too bad, MVP, you get the other Hardy.

***

Hell, yeah, high-flying Jeff Hardy climbs the turnuckle and hits Whisper in the Wind to pin MVP!

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Jerry “The King” Lawler wonders aloud if even Rambo can survive the steel cage, heh

***

They’re now showing the promo for the steel cage match between WWE champion Triple H and the guy he beat at Backlash (in a fatal four-way also involving challengers John Cena and JBL) to win the title, Randy Orton.

By the way, in case you’re wondering why there’s a WWE Championship and a WWE World Heavyweight Championship, that’s because the Raw champ holds the WWE Championship, while the SmackDown champ has the World Heavyweight title.

***

Remember, the one who’ll win the cage match is the person who wins via pinfall, submission or whose feet first touch the floor when he gets out of the cage, either by climbing over the side or using the steel door.

Randy Orton makes his entrance. He stares at the steel cage and touches it before stepping inside the ring.

Triple H, The Game, makes his entrance.

They’re now being introduced inside the ring.

The Game versus RKO for the WWE Championship!

***

I want Orton to win this match, but I really don’t think they’re going to take the title away from Triple H so soon after Backlash.

Jerry “The King” Lawler keeps talking about being afraid to get inside the “mind of Orton.” His dark thoughts. Orton as “pure evil.” Heh

***

Triple H applies the figure-four leglock on Randy Orton. Shades of his idol Ric Flair, who was formerly with Evolution together withTriple H, Orton, and Batista.

***

Failed RKO attempt. Failed Pedigree attempt. Orton tries to hit Triple H with a steel chair. Hey, it’s legal! Triple H avoids the chair and hits the facebuster. Triple H now has the chair, but Orton hits him with low blow. Orton grabs the chair. Chair shot on Triple H, and then DDTs Triple H into the chair.

***

Triple H survives the near-fall. Orton sets up the chair in the middle of the ring and tries to RKO Triple H into it, but Triple H counters.

***

Orton tries to climb over the side of the cage, but Triple H pulls him. Triple H then tries to make his own escape, but no go. Now both men are battling on the ropes. Triple H seems to be attempting to Pedigree Triple H from the top rope, but Orton counters and is now making his way over the side of the cage, but just as Orton reaches the other side and starts climbing down, Triple H keeps him dangling with a chokehold.

***

Both men are now in the middle of the ring. Triple H hits a spinebuster and tries to pedigree Orton into the chair laid out in the ring, but Orton counters. Triple H lands on the chair.

The Game, however, will not be denied. He dodges a rushing Orton, and then hits Orton with the steel chair. Triple H then pedigrees Orton for the three-count to retain the WWE Championship.

So much for the Age of Orton heh Triple H is still champ.

***

Well, WWE went for predictability, and just as the trend in the earlier matches boded, all the champs retained their titles (well, that “son of a bitch” The Undertaker, according to Vickie Guerrero, isn’t the World Heavyweight champ but that’s just a technicality).

Funny enough, to me the most entertaining match in this PPV card was the triple-threat match for the women’s title. I would have loved to have seen Chris Jericho win over Shawn Michaels, because they haven’t really done anything with Y2J since he came back to the WWE, and now even his Intercontinental title looks irrelevant. Show some respect for the man and the title.

Anyway, Judgment Day is over.