Joey Alarilla suggested that Manolo and I post “light” on Sundays, so I thought of linking to an op-ed in the Financial Times written by a policy expert based in Sydney. He outlines a witty but pointed critique of US foreign policy under George W. Bush. Light enough?
It is, if you’re a fan of the Seinfeld show, like me, and the current US foreign policy doctrine is named after George Constanza.
In recent times US grand strategy has been guided by a new kind of doctrine, named after not its author but its exemplar: the Costanza doctrine.
This doctrine, which had its heyday in 2002-2004 but remains influential, recalls the classic episode of the TV comedy Seinfeld, “The Opposite”, in which George Costanza temporarily improves his fortunes by rejecting all the principles according to which he has lived his life and doing the opposite of what his training indicates he should do. As Jerry tells him: “If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.”
Emboldened, he tries a counter-intuitive pick-up line on an attractive woman: “My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.” At the end of their date, when she invites him up to her apartment, he demurs, cautioning that they do not know each other well enough. “Who are you, George Costanza?” the lady asks. Replies George: “I’m the opposite of every guy you’ve ever met.”
The Iraq policy pursued by the Bush administration satisfies the Costanza criterion: it is the opposite of every foreign policy the world has ever met.
Fans of the unusually well-written show put up a most unusual shrine: a collection of fan-transcribed scripts of every episode ever shown. I’ve wasted many hours loitering in this site (”not that there’s anything wrong with that”). Now it has an even more fan-friendly interface. The episode referred to by Lowy Institute director Michael Fullilove (hey, that sounds like a name conjured by the show’s writers themselves) is “The Opposite,” apparently the last episode of the fifth season. It’s worth a lazy Sunday read.
