The Wily Filipino

THE Nepales Report, the blog written by the Inquirer’s Man in Hollywood (and a real A Lister he is, indeed, I’ve been told) goes from strength to strength. Whether its people unwilling to acknowledge their Filipino ancestry, or the Filipino-American obsession with racking up awards (a home-grown phenomenon, originally, of course), or his latest, the vicarious joy Filipinos get from celebs mentioning fondness for our country or our people  -what Nepales calls, in a freshly-minted acronym, “FC” (”Filipino Connection” -and isn’t the acronym another of those things we so adore?)- there’s something not only charming, and entertaining, but oh-so-enjoyable-because-so-true in what he writes.

There are never enough Hollywood movies about or at least set in, the Philippines, though from before the war to during World War II, there was, perhaps, more of a reason for Americans to do so (see this Time Magazine article from 1939 concerning Sam Goldywn having to delete some scenes from a film about the American-Moro Wars). You can even find the Philippines and the war effort in terms of Hollywood, mentioned in academic literature. Most were well-meaning but, like They Were Expendable and its scene with John Wayne and friends singing “The Monkeys Have No Tails in Zamboanga,” offensive to us today.

Most of the time, we’re reduced to looking for Filipinos who feature as extras in American movies or TV shows. Everyone has their favorite examples. Apparently, though it’s an ole time habit. I remember watching TV in Los Angeles with my dad late one night in the early 1980s, and there was an ancient film about the Japanese invasion of China. A group of Japanese soldiers corner the hero and one of them barks, “Sumunod ka sa amin!”

Naturally, hilarity ensued: and then my father remarked, “you know, it’s as funny to you as it was to me the first time I saw this movie in 1939…” I only wish I could recall the title of the film. Ditto that TV series about Edsa featuring fantastic performances by Filipino actors but which ended, I seem to remember it being said, with People Power undertaken by Sri Lankans who, seeing Laurice Guillen playing Cory Aquino, made the Laban sign and shouted, “Curry, Curry!”

A show that has mentioned Filipinos is House MD, just the other week:

KEO: Sir, are you all right?

HOUSE: He’s drunk.

[Peng starts to make gagging sounds, with his mouth still closed. Keo, an experienced flight attendant, quickly moves to get him an air-sickness bag. Too late! He lurches forward and throws up multiple times on his food tray. House closes his eyes in irritation and disgust. Other passengers, including a businessman and businesswoman react the same. A sweaty Peng gags a couple of times and falls against his backrest, fatigued.]

KEO: [in Tagalog] Nilalagnat ka ba? [Are you sick?]

PENG: [Korean, strangled] [untranslated]

KEO: [urgently] Does anyone speak Korean?

[Peng lurches forward and coughs out some more puke.]

KEO: Is anyone a doctor?

[House looks around, hopefully. Nope! He rolls his eyes.]

HOUSE: Yes!

My favorite American tribute to the Filipino still has to be Steve Martin’s marvelous essay, In Search of the Wily Filipino: actually, I first heard it, in the audio book compilation of his essays, Pure Drivel.

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