Maybe these pirates should walk the plank

By Alex Villafania, hackenslash Reporter INQUIRER.net THERE are so many double-crosses in this movie that it made me dizzy just in its first 30 to 40 minutes. The plot was muddled by a difficult-to-understand Middle English accent spoken by all of the pirates in the film and the progression of the narrative is as confusing as Captain Jack Sparrow's thoughts. Wait a minute, is this supposed to be a kiddie movie? If Disney wanted to turn a good theme park ride into a cash cow, it should have made the third installment of Pirates of the Caribbean consistent with the first two films. True, the plot of the first two Pirates of the Caribbean films were also hard to follow, but what they lacked in progression, they made up for with comic relief (almost single-handedly delivered by Johnny Depp's clever portrayal of crazy pirate Jack Sparrow), thus leaving viewers with a sense of comprehension of what the entire story was all about. But these two films' slightly confusing storylines were no match for the third film's incomprehensible plot and seemed to have broken off from the original story, which is rescuing Jack Sparrow after being eaten by the gigantic Kraken. Anyway, the main story of "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" is supposedly to rescue Jack Sparrow from Davey Jones' Locker, a purgatory-like place where the souls of Davey Jones' enemies are trapped as punishment by the squid-headed transporter of souls lost at sea. However, the rescuers of Jack Sparrow, namely Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth Swan (Kiera Knightly) and a resurrected Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), have a different reason for saving Sparrow and that is to bring him to the Brethren Court, a group of nine pirate lords. The summoning of the Brethren Court was done to find a way to survive the onslaught of Lord Culter Beckett, the scheming master of the East India Trading Company whose goal is to wipe the seas of pirates. Surprisingly, Davey Jones is under the command of Beckett who is holding Jones' heart hostage. Take note that Jones and his fishy crew is trapped in the ghostly ship the Flying Dutchman and Beckett uses Jones to destroy pirate ship. Jones' pet the Kraken does make a comeback in the film but only as a rotting carcass after Beckett ordered Jones to kill the squid-like monster. From here, the plot becomes even more confusing as Will Turner who makes unscrupulous deals, first with the Singapore pirate lord Sao Feng (Chow Yun-Fat), then with Beckett, then with a rescued Sparrow. Viewers would find it confusing how Turner makes these deals with pirates and a rabid shipping magnate without ever getting caught. Barbossa's resurrection is in itself confusing since it was Sparrow who had killed him. But then, it was explained by the sea witch Tia Dalma why she resurrected Barbossa, who was willing enough to rescue Sparrow despite dying in the first film. Tia Dalma herself is a confusing character. Later in the film, it is explained that she was Calypso, a sea goddess who gave Davey Jones his original assignment of ferrying souls of the dead lost at sea. Later, it is revealed that Calypso and Jones were lovers and that she betrayed him by not showing up in their meeting place after 10 years of servitude. Jones developed his squid-like physical appearance after ending his deal with Calypso. I'm sure you're already confused with the synopsis in itself but try watching the film. There were too many names and ideas that were thrust into the movie: Beckett, Calypso/Tia Dalma, Davey Jones' Locker, the Brethren Court, World's End navigational chart, the Eight of Nine Pieces, etc. All these played an essential role in the film but there were too many of them that it was difficult to understand the correlation of one idea with the rest. On a positive note, "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" is perhaps the best of the three films in terms of production value. It had the most diverse locations, both real and virtual, and had the most epic pieces, such as a swampy Singapore, the Parlay sand island where Beckett met with the pirate lords and the final battle between the Flying Dutchman and the Black Pearl. Computer graphics did play a major role in many of the scenes but these were well integrated into the movie and can leave viewers a sense of wonder where these places were located or if they were real. Still, it would have been best if the movie stuck to the continuation of the series, which is to merely rescue Jack Sparrow. All indicators point to a potential follow up in the series and even with a confusing third installation, Sparrow and his beloved Black Pearl deserves to sail again.