October 2007 Archives

IT'S simple! Positivity begets positivity. One of the quickest ways to rid yourself of negative energy is to surround yourself with happy people. Let their optimism and good cheer infect you. Seek their help when you need to look at a situation in a different way. Negative people can bring you down. While venting out angst is acceptable, you will better manage your emotions if you don't get sucked into a vortex of negativity. Surrounding yourself with happy people willl make you happy yourself -- you will find yourself perking up just a little bit more and smiling along with them later on. Birds of the same feather flock together? It is the same in this case. If your companions are in a constant state of griping, backbiting and complaining, wouldn't you find yourself doing the same thing later? When you talk to someone who's depressed, don't you feel down yourself? You might find yourself adapting to their behavior over time. While you are still conscious of it, make an effort to go with the happy-feathered flock. So who have you been hanging out with lately? Whoever they are, I hope they're nurturing your soul just right, and vice versa. Feeling down and negative is unavoidable, what is important is that we are able to bounce back and keep our views on life positive. We can do this easily with the help of good friends, of happy people in our circle.

IF only it were that easy. The Justice League gets an alert, the superheroes fly into the city, put a stop to the explosion and spare the lives of innocents. That's how the cartoons would do it. That's how it's supposed to be in an ideal albeit imaginary world. But it is hardly that easy. It is also hardly true. What we have is reality. The grief and disbelief that followed last Friday's explosion was followed by many questions of how's, why's, what's and who's. Some stood rooted to the ground unable to grasp the gruesome truth of what had just happened, not more than a ten-minute walk away from where they worked. Most started making calls to loved ones, checking to make sure they were safe. All wanted answers, but closure does not come easily. Could’ve beens and should’ve beens accented sentences here and there, but verbal assurances didn’t fully make one feel safe. While we yearn to enjoy life as much as we want, we yearn more so to feel safe. Isn’t that how it is on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs -- satisfy my need for security before my need for the good life? Life goes on, yes it does. While we wait for answers, let's hang in there and keep each other safe. There are no superheroes. There is no Clark Kent, no Peter Petrelli, no Hiro Nakamura to unravel time and hinder that disaster. There is only us -- ordinary human beings without superhero capabilities but with an enormous capacity to nurture and love. Let’s take care of each other. This is reality. This is ideal.

SUBSCRIBING to newsletters with inspirational themes and quotes are great ways to remind myself to stay positive. Sometimes the deluge of reminders can be overwhelming though, and they end up looking like reflections of one another. And then there are times when a quote stands out, grabs your attention and puts you in reflective mode. That's exactly what happened to me when I opened one of my daily e-mail from Oprah's Mission Calendar Inspirations. The inspiration for the day was this beautiful quotation.

"People talk about the meaning of life; there is no meaning of life--there are lots of meanings of different lives, and you must decide what you want your own to be." -- Joseph Campbell

It struck me. It was an epiphany. It was "Bahala ka sa buhay mo!" spun differently. :D Kidding aside, it really did stop me from working for about five minutes. The quote did its work: Reflective Mode ON. Many times I have pegged my life against others'. The Desiderata would say not to compare yourself against others, "for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself." Still, when you see your peers becoming so successful in their own fields, owning flashy cars and gigantic homes, getting married, having families, accumulating things and milestones that mark how far they've come from where we all began, how we all began... it gets quite disheartening. Keeping up with the Joneses seems to be a knee-jerk reaction, and not the best one at that. And then there are the questions others ask. Reunions are the hardest. As much as it is a great way to reconnect with loved ones or old classmates, it also can't be helped that people start gauging each other's lives with questions, some harmless, some nosy.

"Do you have kids yet?," some would ask. My "No, not yet" answer would oftentimes be met by looks of pity and remarks like "Oh, what a shame." "Are you married yet?," some would ask. My single friends would answer "No" and they would get the same reactions -- looks of pity and sounds of "tsk, tsk."

Of course not all questions are such, and of course, not everyone means to be prying or nosy, but still it stings and pushes you to think, "What is wrong with my life? Why am I not measuring up to the norm?" And then it takes a few beers, a few philosophical discussions with friends for you to realize that there really is no norm. Live your own life It's easier said than done really. To not conform, to not be bothered by questions that make you feel like you're not part of what seems like a natural progression in life. you know, grow up, get a good degree, graduate, get a good job, climb the ranks, get married, have kids, have a car, have a home, retire rich, have grandkids, la-dee-dah. There is nothing wrong with that at all. There's just something more to that. Our lives are not borne out of cookie-cutters.

"...you must decide what you want your own to be."

How have YOU been living YOUR life? How have you decided how you want your life to be? When you are ready, grow wings and take flight. A friend of mine stepped out of her former boss' shadow and is now beautifully soaring through her career. She's literally going places and has an even stronger sense of self. She is forging her own path now, and has become a pioneer in a new field she has chosen. She is a trail-blazing woman of the world. Find your passions, and then pursue them. What have you always wanted to do? Has your 9-to-5 job been keeping you from going for that dream? (Hint: That's why there are weekends!) While work sustains our daily living, passions drive us to live, live, live. The beautiful thing about passion is that there is no norm! If you still haven't found your passion, think about activities that put you in high spirits, that make you feel alive. For me, it is writing. Expressing myself through the pen (or they keyboard) fuels me and stirs in me a fire that's hard to satiate. Ha! I'm passionate just writing about my passion for writing. What is your passion? If your life vision becomes blurry, be open to readjusting your plans. It's good to have a life vision. To retire comfortably at age 40 for example, is a vision. And so it motivates you to work harder, save more, to do what you can so you'll be resting in a vacation home when you reach that specific age. But what happens when your plans don't fall into place? What if no matter how hard you try, that vision just won't become reality? There are two things you can do. 1) Strive, strive, strive. 2) Be open to re-assessing your plans and your vision. Perhaps there are other routes that better suit you. Perhaps the stumbling block before you is an opportunity in disguise.

"Life doesn't care about your vision. You just gotta roll with it." -- Ben's Dad, from the movie Knocked Up

What is your life's meaning?

"Throughout your life, there will be many little endings, every day. It is these endings that somehow give shape to the fragments of your life that are called experience. And it is this 'experience' that makes up one's life." -- James V. Cunningham

And it is these experiences that give meaning to your beautiful life. It is up to you to decipher and embrace what these meanings are, to understand them and see how they can help you live a more fulfilling life. They are your experiences. This is your life. How would you define it?

THERE are three things I don't like waking up to: the honking of jeepneys, the sound of a mocking alarm clock and a sink full of dishes. Since jeepneys are given noisemakers, and an alarm clock has to mock me incessantly to get out of bed, let me talk about clutter. That's something I can avoid waking up to. Clutter is a really fast way to stress yourself out. Try searching for that proposal stuck in between those piles of documents while your boss stands behind you, tapping her foot impatiently. Uh-oh! Organizing your things can go a long way in helping you avoid unnecessary stress. So one way to de-stress is simply to organize that clutter. The more clutter there is, the more we are reminded of the things we still have to do. So streamline those things, and you'll feel and think more clearly too. There is a line that goes "A messy desk is a sign of a creative mind." Perhaps the many sources of inspiration all over your desk can trigger ideas, can push one to be creative. Perhaps. I do believe though that putting everything in its place can help more greatly in having a smoother, cleaner flow of thinking. Upon coming home from work for example, wouldn't it be so calming if you open the door to an organized living room, instead of one with mismatched shoes and slippers all over? The headache that you thought had disappeared after that long meeting suddenly comes rushing back. Deal with this clutter. A basket by the door can be a home for shoes and slippers. An organized home is very welcoming, especially after a long work day. Piles of paper on your desk? Sort your documents, stuff them in the envelopes, label. You can reach for your documents much easily after that. As for those dishes of mine, wouldn't it be so much better if I wash them and put them back in the dish racks before going to bed? This way I wake up to a squeaky clean kitchen with a big smile instead of a furrowed brow. Organize your things and do less with stress that all that clutter brings. It's easier than it sounds. Get on it!