Define your own life’s meaning

SUBSCRIBING to newsletters with inspirational themes and quotes are great ways to remind myself to stay positive. Sometimes the deluge of reminders can be overwhelming though, and they end up looking like reflections of one another. And then there are times when a quote stands out, grabs your attention and puts you in reflective mode. That’s exactly what happened to me when I opened one of my daily e-mail from Oprah’s Mission Calendar Inspirations. The inspiration for the day was this beautiful quotation.

“People talk about the meaning of life; there is no meaning of life–there are lots of meanings of different lives, and you must decide what you want your own to be.”
– Joseph Campbell

It struck me. It was an epiphany. It was “Bahala ka sa buhay mo!” spun differently. Kidding aside, it really did stop me from working for about five minutes. The quote did its work: Reflective Mode ON.

Many times I have pegged my life against others’. The Desiderata would say not to compare yourself against others, “for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” Still, when you see your peers becoming so successful in their own fields, owning flashy cars and gigantic homes, getting married, having families, accumulating things and milestones that mark how far they’ve come from where we all began, how we all began… it gets quite disheartening. Keeping up with the Joneses seems to be a knee-jerk reaction, and not the best one at that.

And then there are the questions others ask. Reunions are the hardest. As much as it is a great way to reconnect with loved ones or old classmates, it also can’t be helped that people start gauging each other’s lives with questions, some harmless, some nosy.

“Do you have kids yet?,” some would ask. My “No, not yet” answer would oftentimes be met by looks of pity and remarks like “Oh, what a shame.”

“Are you married yet?,” some would ask. My single friends would answer “No” and they would get the same reactions — looks of pity and sounds of “tsk, tsk.”

Of course not all questions are such, and of course, not everyone means to be prying or nosy, but still it stings and pushes you to think, “What is wrong with my life? Why am I not measuring up to the norm?”

And then it takes a few beers, a few philosophical discussions with friends for you to realize that there really is no norm.

Live your own life

It’s easier said than done really. To not conform, to not be bothered by questions that make you feel like you’re not part of what seems like a natural progression in life. you know, grow up, get a good degree, graduate, get a good job, climb the ranks, get married, have kids, have a car, have a home, retire rich, have grandkids, la-dee-dah. There is nothing wrong with that at all. There’s just something more to that. Our lives are not borne out of cookie-cutters.

“…you must decide what you want your own to be.”

How have YOU been living YOUR life? How have you decided how you want your life to be?

When you are ready, grow wings and take flight. A friend of mine stepped out of her former boss’ shadow and is now beautifully soaring through her career. She’s literally going places and has an even stronger sense of self. She is forging her own path now, and has become a pioneer in a new field she has chosen. She is a trail-blazing woman of the world.

Find your passions, and then pursue them. What have you always wanted to do? Has your 9-to-5 job been keeping you from going for that dream? (Hint: That’s why there are weekends!) While work sustains our daily living, passions drive us to live, live, live. The beautiful thing about passion is that there is no norm! If you still haven’t found your passion, think about activities that put you in high spirits, that make you feel alive. For me, it is writing. Expressing myself through the pen (or they keyboard) fuels me and stirs in me a fire that’s hard to satiate. Ha! I’m passionate just writing about my passion for writing. What is your passion?

If your life vision becomes blurry, be open to readjusting your plans. It’s good to have a life vision. To retire comfortably at age 40 for example, is a vision. And so it motivates you to work harder, save more, to do what you can so you’ll be resting in a vacation home when you reach that specific age. But what happens when your plans don’t fall into place? What if no matter how hard you try, that vision just won’t become reality? There are two things you can do. 1) Strive, strive, strive. 2) Be open to re-assessing your plans and your vision. Perhaps there are other routes that better suit you. Perhaps the stumbling block before you is an opportunity in disguise.

“Life doesn’t care about your vision. You just gotta roll with it.”
– Ben’s Dad, from the movie Knocked Up

What is your life’s meaning?

“Throughout your life, there will be many little endings, every day. It is these endings that somehow give shape to the fragments of your life that are called experience. And it is this ‘experience’ that makes up one’s life.”
– James V. Cunningham

And it is these experiences that give meaning to your beautiful life. It is up to you to decipher and embrace what these meanings are, to understand them and see how they can help you live a more fulfilling life. They are your experiences. This is your life. How would you define it?

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