“Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.”
- Cherie Carter-Scott

SELF-doubt is one of the biggest stumbling blocks to finding happiness within oneself. There have been many times when I felt I wasn’t strong enough, mature enough, intelligent enough, deserving of some things that came my way. Because of self-doubt, several opportunities have passed me by. Some opportunities I may have noticed whooshing past me, others may have just quietly retreated into the shadows of my self-doubt.

It may be confused with humility, which could be defined as accepting praise quietly or that sincere and silent feeling of self-worth. If you’re not careful though, it could quickly cross over into self-depreciation, feeling you have very little worth. Once you’re in the realm of self-doubt, the downward spiral begins. How do we avoid this stumbling block?

Self-respect is key. I could throw a gazillion cliche lines at you: “Believe in yourself.” “Love yourself.” “Trust your instincts.” Cliche they may be, but they work. They are true. The only way you can “undoubt” yourself is to have stronger self-conviction, to have a stronger sense of who you are. It is not easy, especially when you’re already sucked into the black hole of self-depreciation. But the ability to overcome self-doubt lies within you.

Talk to close friends and family. If believing in yourself is difficult, why not hear what your trusted peers and family members have to say? Think of the people in your life who have always stood by you, who have always supported you with their sincerity and their honesty. The last thing you need is a hypocrite pushing you on, so do turn to trusted loved ones. The people who’ve kept me from drowning in a sea of self-doubt have always been my parents and my husband. I am very thankful that their support is always sincere, always solid. Who are the people in your circle you believe can sincerely cheer you on?

Try exploring groups sharing your same interests. Let’s say you are doubting your skills as a photographer, that you don’t think you’re deserving of some offers coming your way. What if you join a hobby group and sharpen those skills? What if you build your confidence by learning from experts and from peers? Your progress will build your self-confidence, and you’ll begin trusting in your skills more.

Trust your instincts. You know that gnawing feeling in your gut when you feel something is or isn’t right? Does your pulse race when you’re convinced about something but don’t understand why? That could be your instincts telling you something. Listen to your instincts. Listen to that primal thing in you — it’s trying to tell you something. More often than not, it’s telling you to carry on, to trust in your choices. Listen to them more. Trust in them more.

Perhaps you’ve been burned in the past by wrong choices. Perhaps fear of the unknown is crippling you into moving forward. There will always be a reason to doubt yourself, but there are more reasons why you shouldn’t. It’s more difficult discovering reasons for the latter, but when you do find them, you will become a little bit wiser, your world will become a little bit bigger, and yes, “everything else is possible.”