WHENEVER the blues hit me bad, there are a couple of places I turn to. However, only one place makes me feel like a new person upon leaving it. Maybe because I look like a new me too. That place is the hair salon.

Bad hair days can dampen anyone’s mood. When I feel like I want a new outlook, I have something done to my hair. Sometimes it’s just a shampoo-and-blow-dry session, other times it’s the works, like having it colored or cutting it really short.

Getting a haircut to feel better works for me. Maybe the snip-snap sound of the scissors make me feel like my troubles are being snip-snapped away, falling to pieces on the floor alongside unwanted hair. Maybe feeling pampered and knowing you’ll look better later on is reassurance that things can and will get better.

A note, however, that experimenting with your hair during moods like this can be tricky! I go to my trusted hair stylist and know that whatever he does to my hair will be to my liking. The last thing I would want is to come out of the salon with a bad haircut and an even fouler mood!

Have you gotten a haircut to feel better?

WHEN was the last time you sang out loud? As in REALLY loud?

There’s something therapeutic about singing. Maybe it’s the melodies that make the song. When you’re feeling somber, just sing a sad song and you feel a little bit better. Perhaps belting out that ballad about a broken heart can slowly heal yours. Or when you need a picker-upper, sing a fast-paced song (maybe even move to the beat!), and you’ve got yourself a happier mood.

Singing can make you happy. Just look at how much fun you have when you’re at the videoke with friends! Or check out how peaceful you feel after that practice with the choir. Or don’t even veer away too far from home — isn’t belting out in the shower such a good release?

Whether it’s a popular song or a made-up song, you will feel better. Try making up words to a song. Or just sing “I’m going to ace this exam” to the tune of your favorite pop hit. It may sound a little silly at first, but it could crack you up. And don’t you feel better already? Putting a melody to the statements in your head can help destress you.

There is so much delight in singing. If you’re shy about the tune you carry, try singing when you’re alone. There’s nobody to hear you anyway, so let it all out! And if you’re not shy about your singing voice, isn’t it fun to sing with others too? Belt out a tune and see who follows suit. Before you know it, the whole barkada’s singing along. Good times are happening!

So, come on, when was the last time you sang? As in REALLY sang? Not whisper-singing, but belt-out-loud-kind-of-singing? Sing your heart out! Just sing!

“Don’t worry if it’s not good enough for anyone else to hear. Just sing. Sing a song!”
– from Sing, The Carpenters

We are stronger than calamity. We are stronger than Ondoy’s wrath. The storm may haven taken away much from us, but let us not let it steal the strength of our spirits. It is depressing to see and hear people’s sad and horrifying encounters with Ondoy. Homes were wrecked, possessions lost, lives taken away. Who would’ve thought such a storm could come so quickly and take away much just as fast?

The online world has been integral in enabling people to help. Twitter updates have been pouring in — in only 140 characters, one can immediately get a picture of how to volunteer and donate. Facebook status updates have been integral in keeping users abreast of the news, as well as providing them with information from private citizen’s accounts on how to help. There are blog entries with a list of details on rescue operations contact numbers, relief aids and operations, drop-off centers for relief goods, ways on how to donate in cash, credit card or in kind. It is inspiring to see how everyone is helping one another be on their toes and provide everyone as well with venues on how to be of service to others.

There is always a way one can help. If you’re of sound mind and body, volunteering would be great. Help pack and distribute relief goods. If you’re abundant, donating food, clothes, shelter and money is also ideal. If you’re unable to leave home, there is the option to donate via SMS or PayPal. Word of mouth is also a great source of help. You yourself may not have a speedboat to help rescue those affected, but perhaps if you share the need for one in your Facebook status, it could reach someone with a speedboat who’s willing to help.

Let’s also not forget the power of prayer. Let’s be strong for those who were affected. Let’s collectively channel our positive energies and envision a happy ending for all this. Let us not lose hope.

Do you have any rituals that are uniquely your family’s own? I am certain you have lots of wonderful stories to share about your family’s traditions.

What’s so important about having family rituals anyway? One, traditions give us a sense of belonging. They bind us closer with our family, the rituals the magnet that draws everyone together. Two, traditions also help set our families apart from others — each family has its own unique rituals.

Children most especially look forward to family rituals. Consistency brings comfort to the young ones. Perhaps that is why they enjoy having the same book read to them night after night. Perhaps that is why there always has to be hot chocolate with marshmallows when decorating the Christmas tree. Routine makes children feel secure, and family traditions amplify their need for comfort. Predictable traditions may be, but the sense of security they give family members is priceless.

Think back to when you were a child. What events did you look forward to? Was it the jumping into a pile of leaves with your siblings every autumn? Was it going to the same vacation place every summer? Was it eating a bowl of hot porridge with Mom everytime it would rain? Ordinary everydays become more memorable when weaved into rituals.

Creating traditions make family life even more enjoyable. It’s one way to look forward to good times together. What family traditions do you hold dear in your heart?

THE little boy in the stroller flashes a huge smile at us and we can’t help but smile back. The little girl coos and giggles and we can’t help but echo her laughter. Why do we laugh when babies laugh?

Could it be the simplicity of what makes them laugh? Hide behind a bib and play peek-a-boo. Each “Bulaga!” sends him into fits of laughter. Make funny noises with your mouth and you’re rewarded with bubbly little giggles. And we laugh and smile in return, feeling satisfied that we’re able to bring happiness to the wee one. All because of simple acts, nothing complicated. No long-winded jokes with hard-to-get punchlines, just simple games. It’s back to childhood, back to its simplicity.

Could it be the sillyness of what makes them laugh? Jump up and down like a kangaroo and baby just can’t get enough of you! Attempt to do the moonwalk and mock-trip a little over a toy, and the little boy shrieks in delight. All because we acted silly. We shed the labels “yuppie” or “CEO” or “dean.” We’re little kids too when we make babies laugh. It’s back to childhood, back to its silliness.

When was the last time you laughed, really laughed? Perhaps we need a dose of simplicity and silliness ourselves. Stand in front of a mirror and make a funny face. Jump up and down like a gorilla and let your silly self shine through. Perhaps there’s some silly left in serious you! Let go, let go. Pretend you’re trying to make a baby laugh, and who knows, you may end up laughing yourself.

Let’s take a cue from babies. It doesn’t take much to make ourselves laugh. Just let go of complications and go back to the simplicity and silliness of being a kid. You’ll be smiling like a baby in no time.

AFTER a long day at work, the last thing I want to do is cook my own meal and wash the dishes. Cooking is a technical process to me — I need the exact number of ingredients, the right temperature, the right pots and pans. It is a science. On days that I don’t follow measurements, my cooking still turns okay but nothing great. And so after a long day, all I want to do is reach for the phone and call for a pizza. My husband thinks differently.

He’s a guy with cooking intuition. I’d say he cooks with his heart, not with his head. Sure, the measurements guide him, but that’s where they stop — as his guide. The ultimate test is whether the dish feels right. After tasting it, does he feel happy? Does he feel pleased? And not pleased with himself, but could the effect of his cooking make someone else happy?

His example reminds me of Tita from the novel Like Water for Chocolate. She was a talented cook who expressed her longings and emotions through cooking. Those who tasted her food would then experience how she feels. I see that in my husband. His cooking makes others happy because he pours out his happy heart into the process.

I tried it once. I used the measurements as a guide to a dish I was preparing, but followed my senses, followed my heart. It was a simple recipe for French Toast, but I did notice the difference. The bread was crisper and tastier, the bananas sweeter. Perhaps it was the mood I was in that made the cooking more delicious. Maybe if you do put love into your cooking, people do get to taste that love.

And so after a long day, it’s my husband who takes charge in the kitchen. His happy heart sings with the sizzle of a stir-fry, the staccato of meat frying. He lets his heart do the cooking. Dinner with him is always, always a happy moment. Science and measurements take a backseat when he prepares the meal. All he needs is a happy heart.

HOW do you hang on to happy memories? We get older everyday. And as we age, our memory goes slowly, quietly. More and more, we begin sharing stories that begin with “Do you remember the time when…?” You and your companions then take turns filling in the gaps till the story is completed and you revel in the happy memories. Good times. How can you keep those happy thoughts alive?

1. Create a “Happiness Box” at home. Write down one anecdote on a piece of paper or the back of a calling card. Write about the fun times you and your little cousins buried toys and created a treasure map in your grandparents’ yard. Write about the funny time your grandmother sneaked up behind your uncle and gave him a scare. Create a collection of these happy, funny thoughts. When you’re down, simply pull out a card and let the happy story put a smile to your face. Making this a family activity would make for a richer happiness box.

2. Share your stories with each generation. During gatherings, exchange fond thoughts and funny moments about each family member through storytelling. Did you know Grandma escaped from the hospital after she gave birth to your Mom in the middle of a storm? That’s who you must’ve gotten your stubborn streak from! Did you know your Uncle had imaginary friends named Mannix and Babbix who he’d play with in the backyard all afternoon? Stories like this are told by my Grandmother over and over. And we in turn share it with cousins and other grandchildren who weren’t around to hear those stories. The happy memories are kept alive through passing stories on and on, from one branch of the family tree to another.

3. Keep a journal. Whether it’s digital or the old-fashioned long-hand way, write it down. Complement the memories with photographs. Pictures have a way of capturing happy memories when words fail. If you have pictures saved in your computer’s hard drive, make sure you have a backup. Burn the pictures onto a CD. Better yet, print them out. You never know when that machine will go bonkers on you!

4. Call to mind at least one happy memory before going to bed. Let the happy memories be part of your thanksgiving prayer before going to sleep. The calming effect of those thoughts can help ease you into sweet dreams.

5. Associate recipes with happy memories. Some recipes bring back happy memories. Chinese noodles with tofu, beef and a creamy sauce? That’s a dish my late Grandfather cooked really well, and no Chinese restaurant’s noodles has ever been at par with that. I can still recall how it tastes and the comforting feeling it gave me and my tummy. I also remember the smile my Grandfather would share whenever I’d tell him it tasted phenomenal. Maybe someday I’ll try his recipe and pass on the happy vibe of that dish with others.

6. Keep mementos. A sweater your grandmother-in-law crocheted just for you. A dried rose from Prom night. Keeping trinkets like these help keep the flames of a happy past burning. Just make sure you don’t go overboard and fill your room with too much happy clutter!

Our memory will come and go, so we will need to rely on other people and some material things to save those happy stories. There’s a quote that goes “God gave us memories so we can have roses in winter.” Those happy memories will keep our winters warm, and will always make us feel as vibrant as spring, as joyful as summer.

How do you save your happy memories? Which happy memories would you want to keep forever?

WAKING up to a day with no plans — have you tried this yet? Having a set schedule for the coming day can be comforting. You’re able to manage expectations, have a sense of control over what can happen that day, from what mode of transportation you’ll take going to the mall to what you’re going to wear. Having a system like that helps put structure to a day. But when was the last time you made no plans at all?

What if you left one Saturday blank? Make no plans. Make no arrangements. Just let that Saturday unfold as you wake up. It’s a test of how spontaneous you can be. It’s also a way for you to let go of planning and to just ride the tide of the day… to just chill.

Perhaps the lack of plans may disorient you at first. But think of this as a vacation from planning. It’s a day for you, a day led by your instincts for that very day. Take a rest from your usual routine and structure. For all you know, your body and your mind may have been calling out for that much-needed break! You were just too busy making plans.

This reminds me of a quote: “Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making plans.” I’m a believer of planning in moderation, and just letting go the rest of the time. Enjoy spontaneity! Enjoy following the road your instinct takes you on. Take it day by day. You don’t have to drop of ALL your plans. Perhaps a day a week would be a good beginning. Eventually, you’ll learn how to embrace life as it unfolds itself to you.

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
– Woody Allen

PETER Pan — he’s the boy who can fly, the boy who refuses to grow up, the boy who chooses to stay in Neverland and fight pirates, hang out with mermaids and fairies. He’s a symbol of mischief, but just as well a model for maintaining that childlike wonder and eagerness to embrace every adventure that comes your way.

There is at least one Peter Pan in our life. He may be your little brother who constantly jumps from behind a closet to surprise you. She may be your perky friend who seems to walk on sunshine. They are people who keep that flame of being childlike alive inside them. Sometimes it gets irritating, especially when it seems like they’re not taking life as seriously as you are. But the truth is, without them, your own sense of optimistic balance gets thrown off.

There are several Peter Pans in my life — my husband, my Dad and my 14-year-old cousin. My husband complements my quiet, reserved personality with his outspoken, playful one. When I’m getting too uptight, he always reminds me to take it easy, to chill out, to just enjoy things as they are. His consistent embracing of his childlike wonder keeps my own in check. My Dad is another Peter Pan. He’s just so funny. He is business-like most of the time and quite reserved (I got that from him), but when he cracks a joke and acts “makulit” (silly) with the family, I know he’s very much young at heart. And because of that, he keeps us young at heart too. Finally, my kid cousin is also my Peter Pan. Perhaps it is because of her age — her interests are fascinating, her childlikeness truly genuine, and she’s great to hang out with.

These three are the Peter Pans in my life. They keep me young and happy. They encourage me to embrace different adventures that get thrown my way with great optimism. By their example, I am reminded not to lose my sense of childlike wonder.

Who’s your Peter Pan?

IT’S raining again. The raindrops are tapping on my window pane, urging me to get up and enjoy the cold. But I AM enjoying the cold under the sheets. The chill takes no for an answer, and before I know it, I’m at the breakfast table, eating hot champorado with tuyo flakes stirred in. And I’m happy. The grey sky outside no longer looks dreary, as my hot chocolate rice porridge warms my belly and my spirit. Happy food.

It’s hot on a Sunday afternoon. Way too hot. The sun seems to penetrate every nook and cranny of our home. A refresher is in order. The freezer is opened, and out comes tubes of ice candy. I had frozen them the night before, in case of heated emergencies like this. Avocado was mashed, milk and sugar mixed in, then funneled into ice bags, their tops twisted in tight knots. Frozen overnight, a delight the next day. We feast on the avocado ice candy. The chill comforts us, and the sun is forgotten. Happy food.

It’s getting too complicated at work. The paperwork has piled up and the meetings are overlapping. The need to simplify is getting intense, and home is the best place to get it. I take out a bag of pan de sal and a can of condensed milk. Each bread is torn open, then drizzled with the sweet, sweet milk. I bite into one condensed milk sandwich and sigh. I am a kid again. Life is simple. Life is sweet. It’s not as complicated as we think it is. The soft and crusty texture of the pan de sal complemented by the gooeyness of the milk assures me all will be good. Happy food.

There are certain foods that we associate with comfort and happiness. These three are mine. What’s your happy food?