WRITING has always been a cathartic experience for me. It started when I was about seven. I was extremely shy and did not take to making new friends easily. Alone time was wonderful to me — I could draw in my little corner without interruption, daydream about being a doctor or actress while I gazed out our living room window. Because I didn’t talk much, there were a lot of emotions unexpressed within me. Drawings didn’t cut it. So I turned to words.

There were blank sheets of paper before me that one day. I took a pen and began writing. Days passed and I filled many sheets of papers with poems and illustrated stories. My Mom delighted in my new hobby and brought home scratch paper from work. I filled the papers with short stories, haikus, limericks. I felt free.

How did a 7-year-old find freedom in words? My parents regaled me with stories from their childhood, fairy tales and stories they made up themselves. By example, they taught me the beauty of reading and how it’s a fantastic playground for the imagination. Our household help shared stories of the provinces they came from. My younger sisters and I played a lot of pretend with our Barbie dolls. There were so many stories all around me. I wanted to create my own. I wrote about butterflies and fairies, little sisters, a guy eating the buttons of his shirt. I wrote and wrote and wrote. It felt good seeing my childlike daydreams come to life in words.

[Read the rest of this entry »]

This post may contain spoilers.

FIND what motivates you and use it to your advantage! We are motivated by different things. To get fit, one could be motivated by the love for exercise, another by the desire to fit into those 24-inch jeans again. To get our own home, one could be motivated by a garden her kids can run around in, or the freedom from renting pitfalls.

In “Kung Fu Panda,” Po the Panda had difficulty learning kung fu. Quite a major setback when the enemy’s on the way. Eventually Master Shifu figures our how to use Po’s passion for food as a motivation to learn kung fu. Chopstick skills improved Po’s dexterity. Steamed buns could only be earned with the proper strategy. By putting together his hunger for food AND learning kung fu, he was able to master the art beautifully (and amusingly).

Admit to not knowing, and then strive to know. Before the foodie-kung fu puzzle was put together, Master Shifu was at a loss. How do you teach a big eternally-hungry lug to be the Dragon Warrior? Po challenged Shifu to answer, to which Shifu said, “I don’t know!”

Humility is a difficult trait to have. Not knowing may make us feel stupid and lacking. It is a matter of mindset however. Don’t be afraid to not know it all. It is better to find out the answers than to assume. Shifu’s humble admission and dedication to looking for the answer paid off in the end.

While we may work best alone, it helps to get along with others too. The Furious Five (Tigress, Monkey, Snake, Crane and Mantis) were already kung fu experts. While each one was strong, they worked well in fighting Tai Lung with their combined moves. Po, being the greenhorn, had trouble fitting in. By patiently building a friendship with them, his stay at the Palace became more comfortable and his training more focused.

There are a lot of things we feel we can do better on our own. Nothing wrong with that. Always remember though that there are people who can help us be more efficient, effective. And hey, it doesn’t hurt to laugh with someone in the middle of a busy day!

Take what is there and make the best out of it. Oogway kept repeating, “There are no accidents.” I still don’t buy this as much because it’s hard to believe everything is solely left to fate. But what I like about this thought is the attitude of being proactive. We could jail ourselves with thoughts of “should’ve been’s” and “what if’s,” but why waste time on that? Take what is present and do the best that you can with it.

I thoroughly enjoyed and loved “Kung Fu Panda.” It’s been a long time since an animated film has me laugh so much. It’s a great film for kids too. I think I’ll watch it again!

BEFORE you throw out old magazines, grab a pair of scissors and go through the pages again. When you spot an image or article that interests you, cut it out. Is that print ad on a Mediterranean cruise appealing to you? Do those arms of Jessica Alba’s make you wish yours were as toned? What about that new laptop you want so bad but is currently out of your budget? Cut, cut, cut! When you’ve got your cut-outs, organize them in a way that you can always see them. Ideas are to prepare a journal dedicated to all these cut-outs, stick them on your ref door or have a special area in your work desk for those images. What are these for then? These are your dream cut-outs. These could be the things you dream of having, experiences you wish would come soon. By having them near you, by being reminded of them, you may somehow work for them subconsciously. Better yet, actively work on those dreams. The “Field of Dreams” famous quote is, “If you build it, they will come.” In this case, if you visualize it, they will come to you too. Take a look at your dream images everyday. Visualize yourself having them already. This visualization exercise can help you realize that you could be steps away from achieving these things and experiences. Sometimes it’s as simple as being reminded of them, so that we don’t lose our way claiming them while we go about our every day.

“PLEASE get ready for the morning exercise,” the student’s sleepy voice would say through the gymnasium’s speakers. My schoolmates and I would assemble at the gym every morning at 7.30 to sing the national anthem and morning prayers, and do the morning exercise.

Why, we would silently wail, why do we have to do this so early in the morning? My exercise grunts were just met by stern glares from the teachers. Perhaps if Elle Woods of “Legally Blonde” had been my classmate, I would have better appreciated that “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.”

As I aged though, I did learn the value of exercise. In the beginning, it was for vanity reasons. My metabolism was slowing down, and I had to stay fit to look fit. And then there was the health reason. I knew my sedentary lifestyle was taking a toll on my health, so I hit the gym. My friends would also exercise to tone their bodies, make new friends at fitness centers, lose weight. Valid motivations. But have you ever heard of anyone saying, “I exercise to be happy”?

Think about it. After a workout, you feel a certain high. I can describe it as a mix of relief (”Good thing I got my butt off the computer chair.”) and pride (”Good thing I got my butt off the computer chair!”). There’s that emotional boost, that spark of happiness brought about by a job well done and I guess, endorphins.

Perhaps that’s a good push to start exercising again. We know we’ll feel better after a workout. So why not use happiness as your end goal? When you see you’re ten pounds less, you’re happy. When your skin glows after a workout, you’re happy. When you’re able to run an extra lap, you’re happy. Happy, happy, happy.

Why not kick the morning off with some happy movements, and turn those exercise grunts into grins? Get that butt off your chair and move to be happy!

WHEN was the last time you opted for a conversation face-to-face over a phone call or an e-mail? Admittedly, keeping in touch with friends through text messaging and e-mail is more convenient. You don’t need to set a date to converse. In between meetings, in between chores, you and a friend can swoon over your latest celebrity crushes or talk about current events. All it takes is punching in letters, numbers, and the “Call” or “Send” button.

Nothing compares to having that conversation for real, though, catching those words as you see them pour out of your friend’s mouth. Nothing compares to seeing your friend’s eyes glisten as she talks about her wedding, or going for high fives in between talks with your buddy. Then there are the hugs and kisses, the handshakes and gestures. So much emotion can be conveyed without the use of words.

With face-to-face time, there’s also the fact that you both made time to meet. It shows how you value each other’s presence even more. Even with all the rushing and the work, sharing a cup of coffee with a friend is a welcome breather, a much-needed reconnecting with your loved ones, even yourself.

Think about it — how do we really know how someone is if we don’t see them? Words can say a lot and can mean anything. While words can express thoughts, they can also be used to mask emotions. Seeing someone right before your eyes can help do without those word masks. See for yourself, and believe.

True, we can’t be face-to-face with our loved ones all the time. But do make the effort and see the difference. Much can be said without words, and only being with your friend in the flesh can help you understand that.

POSITIVITY is a frame of mind. There are people who are cheery and optimistic by nature, while there are those who immediately resort to cynicism in a situation. I’ve always believed that happiness is a choice, so optimism is a choice as well. How does one see the glass half-full?

Some folks are innately cheery. Like they were born smiling, with sunshine streaming out of their body. You can sense this about them. It’s not an energy that they get through pills or sports drinks. It’s a naturally peaceful and positive vibe.

There are also those who have learned from experience. Stress may have gotten to them and they realized that maybe they do need to take it easy. Perhaps there’s more to life than cramped schedules and being tired all the time. And so they change the way they see their everyday. They begin to find joy in small things, share more of their selves and slowly find their way to their own happy nest.

[Read the rest of this entry »]

ONE mark of a good friendship is reliability — knowing you can depend on each other no matter what. There are friends we hardly see because of distance or conflicting schedules. But when we do make the time to sit down with them, it feels like we just saw them yesterday. The conversations flow smoothly after “how are you’s” are exchanged. There is no hint of awkwardness despite not seeing each other face to face in ages. Have you ever felt this way? That when you meet up, BOOM!, you are reminded of why you clicked so well in the first place.

Sometimes I take this for granted. I think, know and feel that my truest of friends will be there for me no matter what. I understand that they’re immensely busy with their own lives, as I am with mine, so meet-ups get rarer. At the back of our minds, we all know that when we need each other, we’ll be there. No doubt about that.

But why wait for that time of need? Pick up your phone and give that friend a call. Make those “how are you’s” more frequent, even if it’s just over the phone, or a quick e-mail. A 5-minute chat or a 5-minute e-mail is a fast but thoughtful way to keep each other feeling extra cared for within this already special bond of yours.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” one quote says. But another also goes, “Out of sight, out of mind.” While the truest of friendships takes less maintenance than others, it needs the most nurturing.

ESCAPING to the movies is one way I cope with a hectic day. Whether it’s getting settled in the theater seat with a bucket of popcorn on my lap or eating ice cream out of the container while I press “PLAY” on my DVD, watching a movie always puts me in a happy zone.

Your happy quotient for the day will of course be affected by the type of movie you see. It all depends on your personal taste too. My husband enjoys horror flicks. Even if they scare him sometimes, he finds humor in them. I, on the other hand, abhor them. I suppose it’s my hyperactive imagination. It’s the evening after that scary film I’m more worried about actually.

And so I gravitate towards lighthearted comedies, romance flicks, those with stories about the triumph of the human spirit. Throw in a bunch of chick flicks there too. They usually have happy endings anyway. If your day doesn’t seem to end very happily, then at least watch the happily ever after movie and hopefully it gets a little cathartic.

If it’s a movie theater I am in, I prefer sitting way back and smack center. The magic of the movies still has an effect on me — the dimming of the lights, the trailers, the crunch of popcorn… it’s thrilling! I’ve also seen some movies just by myself and it was one of the best ways to deal with a crazy day. Now if only cinema authorities would do something about those noisy viewers! And when I’m home, I just put on my pajamas, grab my junk food and get ready for a marathon. At least I escape into the world of film in my own home.

These movies, old and new, have uplifted my spirits — “Dan in Real Life,” “White Chicks,” “Love Actually,” “Before Sunrise,” “Before Sunset,” “Amelie,” “Sleepless in Seattle”… ah, so many!

What movies put you in your happy zone?

DESSERT is happy food, but it often is the most banned part of the meal. Isn’t desserts spelled “stressed” backwards after all? Truth is you can have dessert. Why fight a happy (if not THE happiest) part of your meal? Here are ten reasons why you should get dessert:

1. The more you resist, the more you’ll end up crashing into it. Go ahead and eat a small amout. Depriving yourself of that craving could build up your desire for it, and if not managed well, you might end up gorging on dessert. So why not give a small portion a go? And be a good girl or boy by keeping it in moderation.

2. You end the meal on a satisified note. After having a great or not-so-great main course, dessert can help wipe away all traces of that main meal (the “umay” factor) and make you feel more satisfied too.

[Read the rest of this entry »]

WHEN was the last time you sat back and did nothing? A little mindless indulgence, a daydream or two can help make you a little bit happier.

Block out your morning schedule. Sit on your couch. Put your feet up. Gaze into the ceiling and let your mind wander. Do nothing.

When on vacation, resist the urge to pack your days with wall-to-wall itineraries. Checking those must-see sites is indeed an experience, but so will hanging out idly by the beach, watching the waves.

[Read the rest of this entry »]