WHICH quote resonates with you more when it comes to family: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” or “Out of sight, out of mind”?

When it comes to family, I believe in keeping them close no matter how geographically distant they are. Getting disconnected is so easy — a son moves to college and loses touch with his parents, a newlywed couple begins a home of their own, grandparents stay in retirement homes, a father works overseas to support his family. There are many reasons why a family can be physically disconnected. It’s a natural thing, nothing wrong with that at all. What we may fail to remember is to stay connected, no matter how geographically distant family can get.

Keeping your family close to you is a good reminder that you have a loving support system. It may not work with all family members, as each one has his own quirks, but perhaps there is one family member or two you can securely stay in touch with.

Social networking sites have allowed me to rebuild relationships with my cousins overseas. E-mail has always been a good way to stay in touch. And then there is of course the now occasional snail mail for the technophobes or the oldest generation in the family. There are many ways to reconnect and stay connected. The results rely on acting on these many ways.

Share stories with family. Throw in some pictures in the mail. Perhaps they too want to know what’s going on with you, they just don’t know how to get started. What if you take the first step in rebuilding that connection?

Turn on the TV when there’s something you want to watch. And if you’ve got nothing better to watch, turn it off. If your butt reminds glued to the couch, pick up a magazine and read. Pick up a book and read. Write in your journal. Daydream. Better yet, get up, get some fresh air, go for a walk. Make conversation with your housemates.

Watching TV may be a good way to “empty one’s mind.” I zone out in front of the TV lots of times. But I’ve also realized that I’ve been wasting a lot of time just staring at the screen… and wasting electricity in the process too.

Turn the TV off and see what productive things you come up with. Will you whip up a meal instead of channel surfing? Will you finish that book that’s been at the bottom of your to-be-read pile? Will you spend a quiet moment with yourself? Turn the TV off and see what other things go “on” during that movement. Who knows what you might discover?

BEING alone doesn’t mean having to be lonely.

I’ve always subscribed to the thinking that unless you’re comfortable with who you are, then you won’t be at peace when you’re with others. It’s a path that’s tough to take. You make a lot of mistakes along the way as you try to find what gives you peace, what gives you happiness. Some find it easier to fulfill other people’s happiness. But how can you really make others happy when you yourself aren’t?

Imagine a bucket. Unless it’s filled with water, how can you help others refresh themselves? Refresh yourself first, then refresh others.

But I go back to being comfortable with yourself, being by yourself. True, hanging out with friends and being surrounded by family is priceless. But what happens when you find yourself on your own? What happens when you can’t connect with anyone else? Will you distract yourself from your lonesomeness? Or do you find activities that you, on your own, can find comfort and happiness in too?

You have a lot of happiness inside you. Just as you make time to get to know someone else, make time to get to know yourself too. Take yourself out on a date. Indulge in your favorites. Make yourself smile. Be comfortable in being alone, in being you. It’s when you’re happy on your own that you’ll find yourself in an even happier place when you’re with others.

HAVE you ever gotten so stressed out you just wanted to tear your hair out? So pressured that you felt like your head was going to explode? I’ve been there myself, and have discovered that there’s a good way to deal with that hot head — go float in a pool.

Don your bathing suit, slather on that sunscreen and slide into the waters. Relax your body and float, face up to the sky. Close your eyes. Detach yourself from the thoughts that are stressing you out. Wash them out of your mind as you float, float, float.

Water is a good way to cleanse your soul. Some opt to go for a shower to ease their minds, others slide into a hot tub to relax. I think that floating in a pool is the best though. That moment of weightlessness, the sound of the little waves splashing against you, the burden on your shoulders just washes away with the water.

Try this floating exercise at least once a week. Perhaps it could be a Monday morning ritual — kick off your week with a mind empty of negative thoughts, just the sweet sound of waves splashing, of positivity embracing your body. Or it could be a ritual to end your week — wash out all the negativity and start the weekend fresh.

Don’t swim, just float. Just let your body be. Just let the water carry you around the pool. You don’t even have to go to the deep end if that gives you stress. Water is more powerful than you think. You drink it to refresh and nourish you, but floating in it can do just the same.

So go float in a pool and take it easy. Relax. Wash away those stressors and let the waves of positivity carry you.

WHEN was the last time you hugged someone? Hugs are a wonderful way to show your affection for someone. It’s a sure way to boost warmth and comfort for the receiver. Think about the last time you were hugged by someone. Didn’t you feel loved? Didn’t you feel better? The effects of a hug come quickly, and who wouldn’t want to feel much better right away!

But hug with care! It’s best to give that hug to someone you already have established a relationship with. Some people, while close to you, may not be the tactile-type and will avoid any form of physical contact with you whatsoever. Don’t take offense with that! Choose carefully who you give out those hugs to. Maybe you can show your affection to these hug-resistant folks another way!

So go hug someone today. And why not ask that person to hug someone else too? Pass on the hugs, pass on the love. It’s quick, it’s free and it comforts like no other physical act.

IF you’re grouchy and you know it, take a nap! Kids and grandparents aren’t the only ones who need to nap. Taking a nap is like pressing the reset button on your computer. You black out momentarily and make a refreshing comeback. It can happen, even with just a 20-minute catnap.

So what’s the connection with being grouchy? I’m certain you’ve had those mid-afternoon moments when you just wanted to snap at someone or get easily frustrated with work. Perhaps you’re getting a little drowsy without realizing it. How about taking a nap? It’s a quick way to revitalize yourself from being “low batt” or turning into a monster.

20 minutes of shut-eye is all it takes. More than half an hour and you might affect your normal bedtime routine. If you’re worried about a nap overtime, set an alarm.

Don’t underestimate the power of a good nap! Not only does it refresh you, it puts you in a better mood and makes you more productive.

WHEN was the last time you chronicled your life on paper? Blogs are big and so are writing notes on Facebook, but having a personal journal in the form of a notebook or scrapbook still delivers a different joy. I count it as a more personal kind of joy.

Scribbling on paper makes me feel I’m putting more heart into what I’m writing. And I love the sound of pencil on paper, especially if it’s a freshly sharpened Mongol #2. I also enjoy attaching items that carry a special memory with them — ticket stubs, receipts, stickers. Another thing I enjoy about having an actual journal is that whenever I need to revisit an experience, all I have to do is take it out and flip through the pages. The memories become tangible, and the texture of a pressed rose takes me back to the day when those flowers came.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to blog. But for me, the charm of writing memories on paper trumps anything electronic. It looks like I’ll be passing on a bunch of scrapbooks and journals to the next generation.

“I RESOLVE to work out more this year. To exercise regularly. To hit the gym at least three times a day. To cut down on soda. To eat more vegetables. To get my butt off the couch more. To be healthy. These I resolve to do in the new year.” Sounds familiar?

Better health habits always makes it into anyone’s list of resolutions for the new year. Bravo, yes! Everyone should strive to be more health-conscious. So we sign up for the gym, stock our pantry with healthy goods. It starts out well the first few weeks. Or days. And then it becomes harder. And then you feel yourself giving up, thinking of it as another resolution gone bad.

You can do it. Don’t despair! No pain, no gain, right? Here are three simple things you can carry on that happy, healthy attitude throughout the year:

1. Get a health buddy. Watching your health is more fun when you’ve got someone to share the experience with. Go to the gym together, watch out for each other when ordering at restaurants.
2. Start small. While thirty pounds in three months is achievable, do know how to go about it step-by-step. Get a trainer and get recommendations on how to ease into your ideal weight. Baby steps always help. Keep the grand plan in mind, but realize that you’ll get there with small steps too.
3. Think positive! You CAN do it. Your health is what you make it to be, always remember that.

Have a healthy, happy year!

HOURS before going into the New Year, my husband and I were gathering clutter around our home, throwing them into boxes. Over 2008, our little home had turned into a clutter magnet. There were magazines all over the living room, DVDs here and there, coasters scattered around the home, mineral water bottles in hidden corners, gaaah. We would always say we’d be too tired to clean during weekends. Towards the end of the year, we both screamed “WE’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!” and decided to throw out the clutter. Out with the old, in with the new.

We have to make room for new blessings, we reflected. How else could new things fit into our happy but cramped nest when we would almost always trip over odds and ends? And so we took out the boxes and decided to clean, right before Jan. 1, 2009 came in.

It took several hours but was very much worth it. The old toys are now for donation, other items for sharing, most of them went in the trash. Our home looked and felt like it could breathe again! And as we decluttered our home, we too felt the whole process was cleansing for ourselves too.

Have you done any New Year decluttering? While we did ours to ring in the year clutter-free, the challenge is to maintain our home being clutter-free. What guides us though is the thinking that if we crowd our home with junk, then no new blessings would come in. There’d just be no room for it! So we now try harder to maintain a clutter-free space. I think our living room just signed in relief.

Happy New Year everyone!

THE older I got, the more I wanted to preserve our family’s Christmas traditions. But the more I grew up, I also found more difficulty keeping them.

One Christmas tradition I hold close to my heart is our family Noche Buena. I’ve never spent Christmas apart from my family. There have been many instances when my friends would invite me to spend the holidays at the beach or in another country. The thought always appealed to me, the thrill of a new Christmas experience excited me. But always, always, I would say no. Christmas meant being with my grandparents, my family, my aunts, uncles and cousins. Christmas won’t be Christmas without my family.

Traditions during Christmas are important to me because they bring my family together. We used to be one huge bunch. My grandparents’ home would be littered with candy wrappers and grandchildren giggling all over the place. We would play parlor games, go caroling, wait till midnight and scream Merry Christmas! And then we’d dive into our presents. Over the years, family members began migrating to other countries until there were not more than twelve of us. It was weird seeing the numbers dwindle, but at the core of our hearts, we knew we were still family. At least that’s why I continue to choose spending Christmas Eve with my relatives.

Traditions only begin to lose their meaning when they turn into habits that turn mechanical. You know, going to a family gathering just because you have to, not because you want to. It’s making an appearance but not making your presence felt. It’s heartless, really, and very, very sad.

Keeping traditions alive during the holidays helps keep the Christmas spirit alive. Sometimes you feel like you’ve outgrown them, but it’d be good to keep it alive for the younger ones — nieces, nephews, children, grandchildren… I think of the little ones and that’s all the reason I need to put more love into keeping our Christmas traditions sacred. It’s a magical time for them, and it’d be great to keep the magic alive for them for as long as we can.

I’m looking forward to our Noche Buena. It will be another intimate gathering for sure. There may not be many of us now, but the fact that we’re still celebrating it together means we all hold dear to us the true meaning of Christmas — family and love.

Merry Christmas everyone. Here’s wishing your Christmas traditions are full of love and cheer.