WAKING up to a day with no plans — have you tried this yet? Having a set schedule for the coming day can be comforting. You’re able to manage expectations, have a sense of control over what can happen that day, from what mode of transportation you’ll take going to the mall to what you’re going to wear. Having a system like that helps put structure to a day. But when was the last time you made no plans at all?

What if you left one Saturday blank? Make no plans. Make no arrangements. Just let that Saturday unfold as you wake up. It’s a test of how spontaneous you can be. It’s also a way for you to let go of planning and to just ride the tide of the day… to just chill.

Perhaps the lack of plans may disorient you at first. But think of this as a vacation from planning. It’s a day for you, a day led by your instincts for that very day. Take a rest from your usual routine and structure. For all you know, your body and your mind may have been calling out for that much-needed break! You were just too busy making plans.

This reminds me of a quote: “Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making plans.” I’m a believer of planning in moderation, and just letting go the rest of the time. Enjoy spontaneity! Enjoy following the road your instinct takes you on. Take it day by day. You don’t have to drop of ALL your plans. Perhaps a day a week would be a good beginning. Eventually, you’ll learn how to embrace life as it unfolds itself to you.

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
– Woody Allen

PETER Pan — he’s the boy who can fly, the boy who refuses to grow up, the boy who chooses to stay in Neverland and fight pirates, hang out with mermaids and fairies. He’s a symbol of mischief, but just as well a model for maintaining that childlike wonder and eagerness to embrace every adventure that comes your way.

There is at least one Peter Pan in our life. He may be your little brother who constantly jumps from behind a closet to surprise you. She may be your perky friend who seems to walk on sunshine. They are people who keep that flame of being childlike alive inside them. Sometimes it gets irritating, especially when it seems like they’re not taking life as seriously as you are. But the truth is, without them, your own sense of optimistic balance gets thrown off.

There are several Peter Pans in my life — my husband, my Dad and my 14-year-old cousin. My husband complements my quiet, reserved personality with his outspoken, playful one. When I’m getting too uptight, he always reminds me to take it easy, to chill out, to just enjoy things as they are. His consistent embracing of his childlike wonder keeps my own in check. My Dad is another Peter Pan. He’s just so funny. He is business-like most of the time and quite reserved (I got that from him), but when he cracks a joke and acts “makulit” (silly) with the family, I know he’s very much young at heart. And because of that, he keeps us young at heart too. Finally, my kid cousin is also my Peter Pan. Perhaps it is because of her age — her interests are fascinating, her childlikeness truly genuine, and she’s great to hang out with.

These three are the Peter Pans in my life. They keep me young and happy. They encourage me to embrace different adventures that get thrown my way with great optimism. By their example, I am reminded not to lose my sense of childlike wonder.

Who’s your Peter Pan?

IT’S raining again. The raindrops are tapping on my window pane, urging me to get up and enjoy the cold. But I AM enjoying the cold under the sheets. The chill takes no for an answer, and before I know it, I’m at the breakfast table, eating hot champorado with tuyo flakes stirred in. And I’m happy. The grey sky outside no longer looks dreary, as my hot chocolate rice porridge warms my belly and my spirit. Happy food.

It’s hot on a Sunday afternoon. Way too hot. The sun seems to penetrate every nook and cranny of our home. A refresher is in order. The freezer is opened, and out comes tubes of ice candy. I had frozen them the night before, in case of heated emergencies like this. Avocado was mashed, milk and sugar mixed in, then funneled into ice bags, their tops twisted in tight knots. Frozen overnight, a delight the next day. We feast on the avocado ice candy. The chill comforts us, and the sun is forgotten. Happy food.

It’s getting too complicated at work. The paperwork has piled up and the meetings are overlapping. The need to simplify is getting intense, and home is the best place to get it. I take out a bag of pan de sal and a can of condensed milk. Each bread is torn open, then drizzled with the sweet, sweet milk. I bite into one condensed milk sandwich and sigh. I am a kid again. Life is simple. Life is sweet. It’s not as complicated as we think it is. The soft and crusty texture of the pan de sal complemented by the gooeyness of the milk assures me all will be good. Happy food.

There are certain foods that we associate with comfort and happiness. These three are mine. What’s your happy food?

START the day with a smile, you’ve heard that before. It sets the mood for your day. How about going to bed with a smile? It’s comforting to drift off to sleep in calm, happy mood. It’d make getting up with a smile easier too.

How does one go to bed smiling? That will depend on what activities happen right before your bedtime. It’ll differ from person to person, but here’s what I’ve learned so far:

Don’t watch the news before bedtime. Keeping updated on current events is good, but I’ve found that all the bad news I watch keep me up late at night. I end up talking about what I watch, share my worries and think about the awful realities lurking in the city. Not all news are bad, but when the bedroom light is turned off, my imagination works overtime. And so I avoid watching the news and…

Avoid watching movies or reading books that are too heavy or too scary. The degree of a movie’s heaviness or scariness varies from person to person. The thing is they can keep the wheels in your head turning and turning… again, your imagination works overtime. That’s what happens to me anyway. Or maybe I’m just a scaredy cat.

Resolve fights. Don’t go to bed angry with anyone, even yourself. Perhaps you can make up before the day ends. If it seems impossible, park your emotions for tomorrow and recharge for the night. Who knows, the night may cool your heads and tomorrow will be a better time to patch things up. Go to bed knowing everything will work out tomorrow.

Say a prayer of thanksgiving. Make a mental list of the good things that happened to you today. Say “thank you” for each one of them. Remembering the day’s happy times will definitely put you in a happier, calmer mood.

Do some light exercise. Do some light stretches and lunges before going to bed. Rotate those shoulders, move your head from side to side, take deep breaths. Release your body of the day’s tensions, and you’ll feel much lighter and happier as you climb into bed.

When you go to bed with a smile, the day seems so much better than it is too. You’d realize the day wasn’t so bad at all. Be thankful for that. Then look forward to the morning, when you’d wake up with a good sleep and a good smile.

I am not a morning person, but I sure do want to be one.

Waking up early is such a struggle. I do realize the morning tug-of-war begins with turning in late at night. That said, I know I should sleep earlier. But the bulk of my relaxation time comes in during late evenings after work — unwinding by playing video games, late dinners with the husband, a DVD before bedtime. I wanted to try waking up early one time though. It was difficult, but worth the try.

It started with setting the alarm 30 minutes earlier than usual. No pressing of snooze buttons allowed! Within those thirty minutes, I was able to:

Enjoy quiet time with myself. The sunlight was slowly streaming through the windows. There was a tall glass of hot lemon water across me. I was sitting quietly on the couch, not thinking of anything at all, just enjoying the calming bliss of that moment. Connecting with myself first thing in the morning was refreshing.

Calm my nerves. Getting out of bed is typically followed by my routine of heating water, munching on fruit, drinking water, taking a shower, rushing to work. It feels connecting the dots under time pressure. This time though, I was able to pace the chores in a gentle manner. There was no need to panic as there was more than enough time to get everything together.

Eat a good breakfast. Instead of eating breakfast at work, or worse, skipping the meal, I was able to prepare a healthy, filling morning meal. Better yet, I was able to enjoy every morsel of it. No quick munches on fruit, no big gulps of water to wash it down. It was a breakfast date with myself that I thoroughly enjoyed.

This went on for a couple of days until a late night sent me back to my old ways. Mornings were panicky again and I completely forgot about the beauty of those morning moments with myself.

And then I stumbled upon a post in Zen Habits called 10 Benefits of Rising Early and How to Do It. The entry talked of how getting up earlier is good for you, and shared tips on how to achieve that morning nirvana. While reading it, the memory of that early morning sunlight came back to me, and I resolved to greet the morning earlier than usual again.

It starts tomorrow.

Are you a morning person? Do you enjoy quiet times in the morning? Share your happy morning experiences. Let’s learn from each other.

“Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.”
- Cherie Carter-Scott

SELF-doubt is one of the biggest stumbling blocks to finding happiness within oneself. There have been many times when I felt I wasn’t strong enough, mature enough, intelligent enough, deserving of some things that came my way. Because of self-doubt, several opportunities have passed me by. Some opportunities I may have noticed whooshing past me, others may have just quietly retreated into the shadows of my self-doubt.

It may be confused with humility, which could be defined as accepting praise quietly or that sincere and silent feeling of self-worth. If you’re not careful though, it could quickly cross over into self-depreciation, feeling you have very little worth. Once you’re in the realm of self-doubt, the downward spiral begins. How do we avoid this stumbling block?

Self-respect is key. I could throw a gazillion cliche lines at you: “Believe in yourself.” “Love yourself.” “Trust your instincts.” Cliche they may be, but they work. They are true. The only way you can “undoubt” yourself is to have stronger self-conviction, to have a stronger sense of who you are. It is not easy, especially when you’re already sucked into the black hole of self-depreciation. But the ability to overcome self-doubt lies within you.

Talk to close friends and family. If believing in yourself is difficult, why not hear what your trusted peers and family members have to say? Think of the people in your life who have always stood by you, who have always supported you with their sincerity and their honesty. The last thing you need is a hypocrite pushing you on, so do turn to trusted loved ones. The people who’ve kept me from drowning in a sea of self-doubt have always been my parents and my husband. I am very thankful that their support is always sincere, always solid. Who are the people in your circle you believe can sincerely cheer you on?

Try exploring groups sharing your same interests. Let’s say you are doubting your skills as a photographer, that you don’t think you’re deserving of some offers coming your way. What if you join a hobby group and sharpen those skills? What if you build your confidence by learning from experts and from peers? Your progress will build your self-confidence, and you’ll begin trusting in your skills more.

Trust your instincts. You know that gnawing feeling in your gut when you feel something is or isn’t right? Does your pulse race when you’re convinced about something but don’t understand why? That could be your instincts telling you something. Listen to your instincts. Listen to that primal thing in you — it’s trying to tell you something. More often than not, it’s telling you to carry on, to trust in your choices. Listen to them more. Trust in them more.

Perhaps you’ve been burned in the past by wrong choices. Perhaps fear of the unknown is crippling you into moving forward. There will always be a reason to doubt yourself, but there are more reasons why you shouldn’t. It’s more difficult discovering reasons for the latter, but when you do find them, you will become a little bit wiser, your world will become a little bit bigger, and yes, “everything else is possible.”

WHICH quote resonates with you more when it comes to family: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” or “Out of sight, out of mind”?

When it comes to family, I believe in keeping them close no matter how geographically distant they are. Getting disconnected is so easy — a son moves to college and loses touch with his parents, a newlywed couple begins a home of their own, grandparents stay in retirement homes, a father works overseas to support his family. There are many reasons why a family can be physically disconnected. It’s a natural thing, nothing wrong with that at all. What we may fail to remember is to stay connected, no matter how geographically distant family can get.

Keeping your family close to you is a good reminder that you have a loving support system. It may not work with all family members, as each one has his own quirks, but perhaps there is one family member or two you can securely stay in touch with.

Social networking sites have allowed me to rebuild relationships with my cousins overseas. E-mail has always been a good way to stay in touch. And then there is of course the now occasional snail mail for the technophobes or the oldest generation in the family. There are many ways to reconnect and stay connected. The results rely on acting on these many ways.

Share stories with family. Throw in some pictures in the mail. Perhaps they too want to know what’s going on with you, they just don’t know how to get started. What if you take the first step in rebuilding that connection?

Turn on the TV when there’s something you want to watch. And if you’ve got nothing better to watch, turn it off. If your butt reminds glued to the couch, pick up a magazine and read. Pick up a book and read. Write in your journal. Daydream. Better yet, get up, get some fresh air, go for a walk. Make conversation with your housemates.

Watching TV may be a good way to “empty one’s mind.” I zone out in front of the TV lots of times. But I’ve also realized that I’ve been wasting a lot of time just staring at the screen… and wasting electricity in the process too.

Turn the TV off and see what productive things you come up with. Will you whip up a meal instead of channel surfing? Will you finish that book that’s been at the bottom of your to-be-read pile? Will you spend a quiet moment with yourself? Turn the TV off and see what other things go “on” during that movement. Who knows what you might discover?

BEING alone doesn’t mean having to be lonely.

I’ve always subscribed to the thinking that unless you’re comfortable with who you are, then you won’t be at peace when you’re with others. It’s a path that’s tough to take. You make a lot of mistakes along the way as you try to find what gives you peace, what gives you happiness. Some find it easier to fulfill other people’s happiness. But how can you really make others happy when you yourself aren’t?

Imagine a bucket. Unless it’s filled with water, how can you help others refresh themselves? Refresh yourself first, then refresh others.

But I go back to being comfortable with yourself, being by yourself. True, hanging out with friends and being surrounded by family is priceless. But what happens when you find yourself on your own? What happens when you can’t connect with anyone else? Will you distract yourself from your lonesomeness? Or do you find activities that you, on your own, can find comfort and happiness in too?

You have a lot of happiness inside you. Just as you make time to get to know someone else, make time to get to know yourself too. Take yourself out on a date. Indulge in your favorites. Make yourself smile. Be comfortable in being alone, in being you. It’s when you’re happy on your own that you’ll find yourself in an even happier place when you’re with others.

“Life is 10% the situation and 90% how you react to it.”
- Author unknown

When I stumbled upon this quote in a magazine, my mind never let go of it. It resonated with me so well. It is the truth after all.

You can choose to be happy, you can choose to be sad. You can choose to be angry, you can choose to be calm. Emotions push us to act on something. It’s up to us which emotions we want to move forward with.

Water is accidentally spilled on your shirt by the waiter. Do you angrily lash out at him, calling him names and reporting it to his manager? Do you take deep breaths and try to keep your calm, understanding that accidents happen? Whichever one you choose does create a chain of events. How you react is all in your hands.

It’s all a matter of perspective. Let’s take life for what it is. It is indeed a series of situations and a series of our own and other’s reactions. So the next time a situation comes our way, perhaps remembering this quote might help. Maybe our emotions ride so strongly we neglect to see how easily the situation could’ve been solved, and perhaps the situation isn’t as daunting after all.