By Ninotchka Rosca
DESPITE the admonition not to arrive before 7 a.m., 50 people were already lined up before the Brooklyn Courthouse reception. It was 7:05. I had flown to New York from Los Angeles the night before and was to fly back at 4:00 p.m. I was about to take my oath of citizenship. I'd considered postponing but all my Filipino friends screamed: TAKE THE OATH!
The decision to be a US citizen, made after months of angst almost four years ago, morphed into weirdness. First, along with the application for naturalization, one had to list all trips outside the US since becoming a permanent resident. Fortunately, I'd kept all seven of my Philippine passports; the list ran to three pages single-spaced.
Then the questions: have you ever been a prostitute? Not yet. Have you ever been a member of the Communist Party or any of its affiliates? Come to think of it, I REALLY don't know.
Humor is not an option, a lawyer-friend said, write no. $400 filing fee; $300 for renewal of permanent residency; $70 for biometrics, $1,000 lawyer's fee.
Three months later I was told to submit to biometrics. Blood sample, DNA swab, lock of hair? Be there at 10:00 a.m. or your application will be considered abandoned. Resistance is futile. At 9:00 a.m., 45 men, women and children shrieking in the cold were lined up before the service center. Smug in what I thought was an appointment, I headed straight for the front door and was promptly sent back to the end of the line.
Biometrics
Biometrics, it turned out, meant fingerprints. Long line outside; long line inside. Read two sci-fi books. Suffered 32 attempts at digitalizing my prints. Then I was handed a tissue paper to wipe my fingers. Curious, I asked a clerk why I was made to stand in line when the INS (Immigration and Naturalization Service) gave me an appointment. His reply: "I don't know why they do that; it's always been first come, first served."
Almost a year later came another notice. You have to take the civics exam; questions and answers are online and in a booklet available at any INS office. I read 32 books on American history; took the online practice test 144 times, scoring 100 percent correct 140 times; memorized the Star-Spangled Banner; read the US Constitution and all the amendments thereto. Be there at 9 a.m., said the INS, or your application will be considered abandoned.
Old-fashioned bank teller windows lined one end of the humongous INS office. A tight-lipped woman took the note and said: take a seat; your name will be called. I was in the middle of my 2nd sci-fi book when I noticed that those with easy names were told to go to Door No. 1; those with "difficult" names like Abou Amadilatif were sent to Door No. 2. Hmmm. Then the thunder of my name came over the public address system with the dreadful words: Door No. 2!
I've been a New Yorker so long extreme anxiety turns me Jewish. Oich vech, I muttered, now the pogrom comes; why oh why did you agree to have a book with someone on the terrorist list; everyone else was diving under the table then... doomed!
Dossier
You come to me because I am the only one with the security clearance to access your file, said the agent when I asked why Door No. 2. He was white, seemed 11 feet tall, had a Clint Eastwood profile.
I have a dossier?
Yes. How many stars are there on the American flag?
50. Can I read my file?
No. In 1969, you founded the SDK [Samahan Demokratiko ng Kabataan - Ed.] which was intended to recruit members for the Communist Party of the Philippines.
1969? Lord, that's just nostalgia. And it's incorrect. Here, let me at it; I'll tell you what's true and not; I'll correct my dossier.
No. How many stripes are there in the US flag?
Thirteen. I'll even input the corrections into the computer. Take two minutes, I swear.
Younger girlfriend
It went that way for about 30 minutes. Somehow, we got to his girlfriend being younger than he was. "She's 14 years younger; hey, I didn't go after her; she came after me... I had worries, reservations, I told her I was too old for her... who's the father of USA?"
George Washington. What do her parents say?
Oh, they're cool with it. It's quite different. My girlfriends before--the age difference wasn't that much. What do the 13 stripes stand for?
The 13 original colonies which revolted against England.
Some would find something wrong with my having a younger girlfriend. I say they're fundamentalists. What do you think of fundamentalists?
I don't. What kind of fundamentalists?
We'll get them all. You know the US Constitution, right? What do you think of it? Me, I think it's one of the greatest documents the world has ever had--not that I've read all of it.
'Can't you tell?'
I lost my cool. "You haven't read the Constitution? I read it cover to cover; I read all the 20-plus Amendments. I can recite the entire Preamble, whole Articles, and Sections... You, you, YOU haven't read it?"
We stared at each other. The incongruity of the situation totally escaped him.
He who had power over my citizenship hadn't read the Constitution. I was nonplussed. Luckily, another agent appeared, saying: "Hey, you know Wang, the Chinese guy... I just told him an ethnic joke."
First agent sent me a sidelong glance. "Be careful; there are rules. Look at her; she's watching you."
Second agent. "I'm sorry; I don't mean to offend. What nationality are you?"
First agent: "She's Filipino, can't you tell?"
Second agent: "I'm so sorry. I can't tell you people apart!"
The boss
They cracked up. WHAT IS THIS? Another man walked in and from the two's reaction, he was the boss.
"What's happening?" Good; a tongue-lashing! They told him. He looked bemused. "I have a question--how many presidents weren't born in the US?"
Seven, I thought. "You got me there," said the first. "But that's not allowed under the Constitution."
Boss: "They were born before the Constitution..." He walked to a poster of US presidents. "Let's see how many..." He counted seven.
"We should include that in the exam," said first agent. "Like a trick question."
Dismal person that I was, I didn't protest. When the two visitors left, first agent turned sympathetic.
"I'm recommending approval. See I'm signing it. But you have no FBI clearance."
WHAT?
Smoking in subway
"It's nothing. They're slow; they're backlogged. Your fingerprints came back clean, except for getting fined for smoking in the subway."
Outside, I found I had a great need to touch reality. Did I enter the right building or did I walk into an insane asylum?
The biometrics notice came again after two years. Be there at 10:00 a.m. or your application will be considered abandoned. Okay.
Two months after came a notice for additional papers and interview; first agent would speak to me again. Bet he and his girlfriend broke up. "So you broke up?" was my greeting. He was surprised. "How'd you know that?" "I had a premonition..." He interrupted me with a peroration against Younger Girlfriend as selfish, self-centered, wouldn't return the bed he bought her; he didn't care about the other gifts but--yaddah-yaddah-yaddah. Forty minutes of it!
He'd interviewed a mother and daughter the previous week. "The mother was kinda cute; I was kind of flirting..."
'Woman with powers'
"Wait! Another premonition," I said. "It's common among Filipinos. You'll have a happy relationship except she's not here. You must look for her outside--in bars, theaters, shops, just not here. A long and happy romance but she's not here; she's out there."
I gave him a I'm-a-Woman-With-Powers, you-nut-head look. Perhaps I could save some non-citizen woman. How do I get into these situations?
Now when could I take the oath? He speared me with a diabolical look and said: "Another two years!" And laughed himself silly.
Fortunately, it only took six months: You must notify INS at once if you are unable to comply.
Resistance was futile.
Where's the judge?
So 7 a.m. in Brooklyn, dying from tedium as 300 were processed. We filled the mahogany pews, 10 in each row. An hour, two hours... the judge was nowhere. We were each given a newsletter and a voter registration form. My seat neighbor, an Asian woman, waved the form: "Sign?" She said, "Sign?" She barely spoke English. How did she pass her civics exam?
We lined up before a table with three seated clerks. "Has anything changed since your interview?" No. "Have you traveled outside the country?" Yes. Philippines, Canada, and Antarctica... She didn't bat an eye. The guy next to her erupted: "What do I do? She doesn't speak English!" He was processing my seat neighbor. I ran away.
'Repeat after me'
Almost noon. Someone read the newsletter over the microphone. Finally, the judge walked in; we had to stand-sit. He delivered a sermon about his immigrant parents. Then he made us rise and raise our right hands. "Repeat after me..."
People behind me were laughing. My seat neighbor had her hand up in a Heil-Hitler salute as she muttered in a guttural voice. To whom was she swearing allegiance?
One guy, waving a small US flag, said he was taking his wife out to celebrate. What about you? Nothing, I said; I'm going home, filing away my citizenship certificate. Nothing? "Life goes on," I said, "citizen or not."
Unbearable sadness
Three months later, as I was replacing, with my just arrived US passport, the green Philippine one in my worn python-leather wallet, I had a moment of unbearable sadness. Green and I had fought so many battles together. When an Italian consul insulted it, saying Filipinas loitered in Italy to marry Italian men; I told her I'd dumped an Italian boyfriend for being less than sexually competent. My green passport and I had been mistaken for a mail-order bride, a housekeeper, an illegal...
I'd been a foot soldier in its struggle for validity and respect. The blue one, the most prized passport in the world, I'd acquired through a process I could only charitably call half-demented. Reality disappoints, truly.
7 philippine passports means approximately 35 years as resident of the USA. One would think that you would have more confidence in your knowledge of the USA. Your account of what transpired seems a bit extreme.
Anyhow, why change your citizenship after all those years of resisting and fighting for your beloved green.
Blue passport being the most prized in the world? I quess you need to travel more outside US to appreciate other colours! It shows how limited your knowledge is about other countries.
Maybe for ease of travel to Euorope or something or like Japan or Korea as you don't need to get VISA in advance or declare your income and assests, say why you want to travel.
Blue passport and ticket, off to most 1st world countries.
How's that Mang Larry?
Miss the green. Get it back. Apply for dual citizenship. No drama. I promise.
Larry, as the old filipino saying goes "nasa huli ang pagsisisi". And as she truthfully said, "reality dissapoints". One thing that I am still very proud of the green, now turning maroon due to mrp, is that is has given me a lot of opportunity that our other kababayans who has the other shade of green, as in green-card, could not see simply because they are looking towards at the land of milk of honey which was glossed-up and paint-brushed with artworks. And when reality sinks in, will indeed disappointing.
Good point, Larry. Nice comic article.
you shouldnt have naturalized then if getting a blue passport has no meaning to you.
I think you overstudied!!! Just read the book they gave you. Why did you waste your precious time taking the practice test gazillion times? I read the book once and took note of the important questions like who are the key ppl, important events and they form of government. And that was it!!! And I never hired a lawyer to apply for citizenship. Just fill up the form correctly and you're in!!! They got so many ppl in line and they will not spend too much time interrogating all the preamble and the constitution because they do not know either!!! They're idiots!!! They just got their blue passports because it happens that they were born there. Their main thingy is that you are a good person with no history of communism, terrorism, etc. I vouch for my identity and it made me comfortable enough to face them. Gone is my green and I'm in the blue!!!
I guess change inevitably happens to people, it's just a question of when. I used to see you visit our neighbor in Area 14 inside the UP campus. Those were the days.....
So what's with all the hype and whining? At least be thankful for whatever the blue mini handbook will eventually bestow you. What's the point of applying for the almighty blue. Apparrently, no one (not even the consuls you were insulting) knows everything. If you know something they don't then you don't have to hurl insult at them and boast.
Where, oh where thou art humility?
In the end, the only thing that is disappointing is to have read your article full of your whining self.
Edith is absoulutely right. Why did you even bother to go through that hell when in the end you'd still be whining...
(You were an SDK - -what in the hell are you doing waiting in line to get a piece of the American pie - the very concept you hated?)
Do you expect them to treat you like they did Obama?
The bottom line is YOU HAVE TO EARN IT no matter how stupid you think it is. The opportunity is accessible but you have to work your ass off to get to it, including waiting in line and putting up with another hardworking American giving you stupid speeches behind that window. And hey, nothing in this universe is GUARANTEED.
Things are not gonna run the way you want it, that's for sure. You have to work your way around to get somewhere - heaven or hell. Keyword: WORK
Yes,they have so many rules - - - and 91 per cent of the time THEY FOLLOW IT. Idiotic or NOT. Let that be.
If you hate it, then heck trash that blue stuff then go back to the PHILIPPINES and maybe if you are well connected, you'll get that big fat chance of becoming somebody! But hey wait again, you'll have to wait in line, too; that is if they do wait in line there - - and without bribing someone.....
You got the blue. So what now? More complains?
Disappointed.
Too bad so sad for you,
why disappointed, when you can have
a dual citizenship.
I remember asking myself "this is it?" when my bros and I have to finally sing the Stars Spangled Banner. This is why my dad divorced my mom and left us in Manila so we can get our blue passport? This is why my 2 bros and I w/ my mom had to live in my aunt's extra bedroom? This is why we had to give up our youth so we can help take care of the bills? I'm not sure if it was all worth it...Well, yeah I do own my own home (w/c is upside down in equity), I have nice job but of course I have to work 2 jobs, not spend enough time w/ my kids for the sake of the American dream!!!
I,m fixing 2 have 1 myself 4days after 4th of july. 4 me taking this test is necessary due 2 the circumstances. green or blue doesn't really matter, only the convenience that goes with it. I'm still very much a filipino. mabuhay
Ang d marunong magmahal sa sariling wika sa Call Center naglipana
guess what. we now have what you call, the citizenship law. best of both worlds, no need to mourn your green. green and blue. they can coexist
Man, you're full of it. You know you want it. You want to tell me you went thru the hassle of what? What are you trying to say? All I can see is BS. Its all over your essay.
It took me11 years to get my US passport, I was confronted several times by agents at INS and stayed for 11 years and found out that at 7 years, I could apply for suspension of deportation ( now its 10 years ) and the agents told me that that law was invalid, yeah right. I checked the library and a hippie lawyer friend and he said it was still in the books and to use it, I did, when refused again, I told the agent that I can always find him and the INS but they will have to look long and hard for me ( reason for 11 years ) finally got it but it was a long hard battle and a lot of aggrevation along the way but now I miss my green passport when I travel to central-south america, middle east, eastern europe since the U.S. passport seems to be in these countries hit list, proves that life goes in cycles, then great, now hiding, hopefully it will turn to great again in my lifetime, yeah right !! but hopeful
Geez people, you are all so grim and determined and you take US citizenship so seriously!! It's not a religion, you know!
And by the way, there's such a thing as "sarcasm," "humor" and "irony" in writing.
Go read books, maybe you'll get it.
You really are full of s_ _ t. You know you get alot more respect when you travelled with that Blue passport around the world. Stop your pretensions...denounce your citizenship if you are really disappointed.
a nice essay to ponder, im here in US too on an exchange visa as a teacher, I never dream of turning my green into blue but the call of dollars would like and will lead me to it eventually because its necessary.and yet my ultimate dream is during my twilight years when im done earning here, all my retirement will be spent in our beloved country Philippines. Heck I realize though I might have blue passport still the one who will always accept me and never turn its back on me is my country.
Just want to say... now that the odyssey of citizenship is over and done... there's no more to rant about... except New York life and being an American.
Anyway, it's just paper. You are still a Filipino 'til the day you die.
Best of luck to you. And I like your creative writing flair... reminds of Jessica Zafra... but a lighter version... J Zafra-lite.
guess what. we now have what you call, the dual citizenship law. best of both worlds, no need to mourn your green. green and blue. they can coexist
get your filipino nationality back, right away, no need for drama.
Oh Jose can't you see...
I hate that song.
I'd sing "Oh Canada, we stand on guard...for thee."
it's not easy giving the green passport up. i had that feeling too. but yeah, apply for dual citizenship that way you can continue your with your life without having lissed znything. love your writing, though. hope you write some more!
Emmanuel, watch your grammar. You cannot even write/speak correct English.
Who cares about your "blue" passport.
Lynne.....who cares about grammar in the US?....only Pinoys with intellectual pretensions:=). Even Great U.S. Presidents can make grammatical errors and misspellings. Yes...I care about my U.S. citizenship...my "blue" passport...And I'm tired of foreign borns obtaining U.S. citizenship and denigrating it...perhaps to make them look patriotic and intellectual. By the way I'm Filipino born...and I love both my home country and my more so, my adoptive country.
Emmanuel, Pinoys don't need to have intellectual pretensions to care about grammar. I care about good grammar and I don't pretend that I am an intellectual. Bad grammar is bad English. Correct English is a measure of one's training and background.
The "green" passport is difficult to give up. I have emotional ties to it. Yes, I have been embarrassed so many times to "defend" my "green" passport, but does the "blue" ever save me from any harm?
Yes, the blue passport...a sign of stability, privilege, opportunities. A country as powerful as the United States can only make it's citizens proud and strong. I am a Filipino and always will be, my pride as a "pinoy" will never leave me. My love for the motherland is boundless, no matter how atrociously corrupt some of our politicians are...and I can only hope for the best. My decision to apply for the blue passport is bound by the gratitude I have for the country that gave me a chance, a chance to fulfill my dreams, by way of practicing the profession I love. In return I give my allegiance to the country that has balanced my hardwork with compensation.
And NO, it does not and will not bestow upon me "intellectual pretentions" and reasons to "denigrate" my homeland.
DB...ha-ha...your belief that correct English is a reflection of one's training and background is laughable. Say that to the native English speakers!!
For your English grammar I dont care.
For sure Majority of Filipinos here doesn't know how to read or write our own ALIBATA. It's a shame, really.
I got the blue just for convenience in traveling. I still have the green, renewed everytime. I did not renounce the green when I got the blue. Come on guys, you are all a bunch of hypocrites. Admit it that the blue gives you the high. The green gives you the blues. If only the green can get you anywhere without a visa, I bet you are all green today. As for those who hate the green and its origin, shame on you. I love the green and just use the blue and its origin.
Ninotchka, I enjoyed reading your blog. Don't feel so bad about your old, green passport. Savor the memories you had with it.The newer Philippine passports being issued now are colored maroon anyway(as if color was your only concern).With your blue passport(I disagree it's the most prized passport in the world - in the Philippines perhaps), I believe you'll avoid traveling to Somalia, Iran and other anti-American nations who don't kowtow to the US. I'm convinced you'll inevitably go for dual citizenship. Mabuhay !!!
Interesting bit of satire!
Emmanuel, looking at every comments
you've made gives the impression that
you have Borderline Personality Disorder,
big time. Too shallow!
MBA, MSN, MPH
......................hahahaha nice experience !welcome to the world of reality !
I think an Aussie or a Swiss passport is better than the American passport. The Philippine passport isnt bad either- I love the fact that I can go to North Korea, Iran, Mongolia and a lot of other exotic countries where Americans can never set foot - and being a traveler- A combination of Aussie and Pinoy passports are the best!
We all have different ways of viewing the same thing. That being said, her view deserves to be respected in this democratic society.
She is not taking away from anybody anything when she wrote this article. But she is succeeded in soliciting your comments (hence time, hence money) and allowed everybody to share a piece of idea in this place.
We should thank her at least.
So here it goes: Thank you for a very insightful satire, though I do not agree with your whining.
i'm not being prejudiced here. it's just that sometimes you wonder why some asians who barely speak english are able to pass the citizenship (one of the requirements is a knowledge of and ability to speak english language)?? they even have translators during the exam!!! tsk..tsk..
anyway, thank you for sharing your insights.
Lynne....don't you have to be a doctor to diagnose? Not some Master's degree?...Just kidding:=)
I guess your humor is really lost on many of the people responding here. Are you a professional writer? I would love to read a book from you! I have watched while my Filipina wife went through many situations with INS, and I understand where you are coming from. Hilarious...
My Philippine passport and I did not fight any battles but I was also very sad when I replaced it.
i got
i got my blue passport but didn't go through with the agony you had..... for one, i do not have a boytoy 14 years younger than me....there you go!
Passports? Come to think of it , they are just bound pieces of paper - at the end of the day you are who you are in this universe. Blue passport or not - or green for that matter.
Kudos to Ms Rosca. She is still feisty
and does not back down .I remember her
braveness during the Marcos regime. I did not have trouble that she had concerning her application for US citizenship but I was kinda annoyed from the comment of my interviewer that I speak "pretty good English".Having a blue passport does not mean freedom from those assinine questions from the US Customs personnel in the airport.
All persons born in the Philippines are 1st class filipino citizens, and can be DUAL citizens ( Philippines and USA)
All NATURALIZED PERSONS with blue passports are 2nd Class U.S. citizens ONLY.!!!!
Only U.S. born OR children of US citizens at birth are 1st Class USA citizens.
Please correct me if I am wrong.
Got mine too, but in my heart I am a proud Filipina.
Carlos....what is a first class and second class citizen? Please define....if u can't....then you don't know what you're talking about.
totally agree with a previous poster on her Jessica Zafra-ish creative writing skills. Though I very much disagree that the "blue" is the most prized in the world! Everyone applies for the "blue" for convenience, admit it or not. I have a Canadian "blue" that gets me anywhere and that's about it. The "green" has a special meaning to me because it reflects who I am and where I came from. If only the "green" comes with so many perks as the "blue"...sigh...And if only "green" can provide greener pastures from within, then we wouldn't be subjecting ourselves to such blues acquiring the "blue".