Can the country's new leaders help provide answers to Lhyanne's questions?
By Marilyn P. Rayray
Contributor
PARIS, France--I was behind our door ready to ring the bell when I heard my 10-year-old daughter asking her father to help her out with something. She sounded so excited. I heard her repeatedly saying, "Please, Papa..." I decided to eavesdrop for a while and find out what my daughter was up to.
In mixed French-English-Filipino words she said, "Tu peux m'aider (could you please help me), Papa? I have to do this exposition about the Philippines when I go back to school, but I cannot do it alone. It's not easy. Please, Papa..."
"Lhyanne, antayin mo si Mama at sigurado marami siyang alam (wait for your mother, I'm sure she knows a lot)," my husband replied.
"Pero Mama is toujours occupée (But mama is always busy)." Hearing this, I rang the bell. After kissing them, I asked about what was worrying her and assured her that my work schedule would not be so tight in the next two weeks since it was spring break. I would have time to help her out.
"May exposition ako about the Philippines, I have to present the geography, culture, history, commerce, etc. I have two weeks. I have to explain why Filipinos are called 'people of the sea,'" she added in French.
Out of nowhere, my son jokingly butted in: "Mga syokoy daw mga Pilipino, yun ang alam ng mga Pranses. Manood ka kasi ng TV Patrol (Filipinos have fish tails, that's what the French know about us. Just watch TV Patrol)."
My daughter flared up. "That's nonsense, Kuya. They're just scary stories...Fiction!"
It was time to meddle and calm her down before a quarrel erupted. I promised Lhyanne that night that we would work on her presentation together and that she would have the best exposition ever presented in her class.
My children weren't born here in France. I brought them here five years ago, (my daughter when she was five and my son when he was nine). Life is never easy when you're abroad, but it is not any easier when you are away from your children. So no matter how hard, my husband and I decided to have them with us here in Paris.
They spoke good Filipino when they had just arrived. We made sure that Filipino would be the language at home as they might forget it if we only speak French. Later on, I decided to integrate English as well because it is a necessity. My son is coping fairly well. My daughter, well, she has all the three languages mixed up. We don't worry about it and hope that she will sort them out in time just like my son. For sensitive issues, my husband and I talk in our native dialects--Ilocano and Pangasinense.
Love of country
For the entire spring break, my daughter and I worked head-to-head to come up with a well-presented exposition about our home country. My tiresome day would vanish as I listened to her enthusiastically retell what she had learned from Wikipedia.fr, enumerating our country's scenic spots (I knew them by heart when I was younger).
Her eyes would glow as she proudly recited the history of the Philippines, from Magellan's landing to President Arroyo. With our joint research, hers from the French website and mine from stock knowledge and informative Philippine tourism websites, we came up with a beautifully designed, well-sequenced--complete with photos--"Philippine exposition."
The last few days were spent training her for the oral presentation. "Mama, what if they ask me to sing the national hymn?" she suddenly asked in the middle of her presentation practice. "I surely would not be able to do it."
I printed out "Lupang Hinirang" and taught her how to sing it. This won't do, I thought. She barely understood the lyrics, how much more if she were asked to translate them. I foresaw a disaster. While singing the last lines, a familiar tune began humming in my ears: "Ako ay Pilipino, ang dugo'y maharlika..." I sang it out loud and started moving my hands to the beat, singing it with all my heart. My girl seemed enchanted. She listened closely and was startled to see tears falling from my eyes. I, myself, was surprised. I got carried away.
You see, I'd done that for years in my school days, leading the song at the flagpole area where everyone gathered for the flag ceremony every morning. "That's how we pay tribute to the Philippine flag and show our love for our country," I dreamily narrated to her.
"You are sad, Mama kasi nami-miss mo ang Philippine, no?" I answered her with a kiss on the forehead and we both continued to practice singing "Ako Ay Pilipino" until bedtime.
She slept with a smile on her face and it felt so great seeing her that way. When was the last time I put her to bed myself? I just could not recall. A realization came flooding in. For the past few years, I have been so preoccupied with how-to-survive concerns in this part of the world (I work 10 hours a day to keep up with the European pace of living). I have barely bonded with my children. I am even surprised to see how much they have grown.
This Philippine exposition awakened me to the fact that I am a mother of two. That despite the fact that we are living in the Western world--which is not so family-oriented--we are still a Filipino family, bound by love and need. I shook my head determined to make up for lost time. It was not too late.
Proud to be Pinoy
Late afternoon of May 3, I received a text message from my husband: "Hurry home, Lhyanne has a surprise." I came home to find my daughter waving her cahier de correspondence, a notebook where teachers and parents communicate through notes and messages. There was a message from her teacher saying how brilliantly she had presented her exposition and congratulating us, her parents, for having a smart daughter like Lhyanne.
My daughter was so proud that she monopolized the conversation over dinner about how her classmates were amazed by the islands and the historical places she presented; how they admired the beaches and the culture of the Philippines.
She really had delivered her presentation so well that her classmates had voiced out their plans of asking their parents about visiting the Philippines on their summer holiday.
Nothing can compare to the feeling parents have when they see their child so overjoyed. We knew it wouldn't end there. Knowing our daughter, we expected a series of happy stories about her exposition.
The next day, she spent hours browsing Philippine websites for local animals, pearls, and the islands. She had a pile of printed pictures she planned to distribute to her friends the next day. Before bedtime she remarked, "Philippines is really a paradise. I love the Philippines so much." I nodded in agreement and bade her goodnight.
Thursday night, I came home late from church. I expected my daughter to be sound asleep but she had waited to ask me a question: "Ma, I told the class the Philippines will have a new president because there is an election on May 10. My maître (male teacher) asked me how many presidential candidates there were."
"There are nine, anak. Go to sleep now, it's way past your bedtime."
On Fridays, I get off from my job early. It marks the start of my three-day cooking schedule which ends on Sunday night. I rang the doorbell a couple of times but nobody seemed to hear me. This is weird, I thought. Where's my daughter, who rushes every night to open the door for me? I kept pressing the ringer until I got tired and dialed our phone number instead. My son picked it up. "What's taking you so long," I complained.
Apparently, he was in the bathroom and expected his sister to open the door. I walked into our bedroom looking for my daughter. There she was on our bed, lying on her stomach, sobbing.
"What's the matter, anak? Are you sick?"
"Is it true, Mama?"
She sat up on our bed and gave me a look of disbelief. "Ma, my friends said what I said in the exposition about the Philippines was not true. Their parents said they don't want to visit the Philippines, kasi c'est dangereux daw. There are many crimes and terrorists. And my teacher said our government is corrupt, maybe that's why so many want to be president. This isn't true, huh Ma? I hate him," she said and burst into tears.
I held her tightly to my breast. I too was heartbroken. I couldn't say a word. I pacified her somehow because she stopped crying and her shoulders steadied. She rose and asked, "Why are we here, Mama?" She bombarded me with her whys. "Why did we leave our country? Bakit po, Ma? Ang Philippines ang pinaka-beautiful country, di ba? Why do we live here? Can we just go back and stay there, forever?"
I bit my lip. I closed my eyes; I didn't know how to answer. I pulled her back to my chest and kissed her head while caressing her hair gently whispering, "You'll understand in time, mahal ko."
**
Last June 30, I felt my daughter approaching while I was undoing the laces of my sneakers. "Ma, I watched Noynoy kanina," she said, referring to the televised inaugural address of President Benigno Aquino III.
I sat up straight and grabbed her two hands while examining her eyes. "So how was it? How did it go?"
She sat on my lap, her nose wrinkled. "He spoke Tagalog. Ma, I would like to understand everything that he said."
"Sure thing darling...Go turn on the computer and I'll follow after putting the groceries away."
Editor's note: The author is an English tutor and editorial assistant in Paris. Lhyanne, by the way, had another talk with her teacher and feels a little better. A sequel to this story, said Marilyn, will be posted next week on www.mnnetherlands.com.
This blog article moved me! I am a mom myself and I know how hard it is to parent - what more if you are amidst a different country with different cultures and values.
Though I have never lived abroad, I can imagine what Filipino families go through. Sad and tough, it's a choice we have to stand up to.
There has been an awakening, if I may call it, or just the Internet piecing it together for me through the help of Google alerts, about Filipinos and their love for the motherland. This is a good thing and I pray it will continue on until the Philippines is comparable to Korea.
Anyways, what I would like to comment and share is the fact that, through my learnings, we have a great error in history lessons which could somehow cause us to be like this. We always date our existence as a country with March 16, 1521 when Ferdinand Magellan and his Spaniard crew invaded us. There have been lots of archeological diggings, plus historical data from other countries (China trading with us) showing that as early as 900AD, Filipinos have been trading honestly with the Chinese. This fact opens up a great new door, like Lucy stepping into the enchanted wardrobe to Narnia, that we are a CIVILIZED race long before the Spaniards came.
Anyways, good thing this comment part has no limit of words. Good luck on your Philippine history searching! ;) Let's keep on discovering who we are so we will know who we can be.
Nice piece, it shows how you much you love our country. Sana lahat ng magulang katulad nyo itinatanim sa mga anak ang pagmamahal sa bansa kahit saang panig sila ng mundo naruruon.
Mabuhay ang inyong pamilya.
Ishreh - KSA
There are 1001 reasons to be proud of the Philippines and being a Filipino, but let us not be blind of the 1001 bad things as it is and as it had been over the years in the Philippines. Sometimes it is best to acknolwedge our flaws as a nation and as Filipinos first and then rant on what is best and worth glorifying about the Philippines and the Filipinos - in this way, you will get more understanding and appreciation from another nation or individual you are informing on the greatness and uniqueness of the Philippines.
I myself is a Filipino living abroad. While I hold the Philippines dear to my heart and mind, I am the first to criticize and point out what has been wrong in the Philippines and its governance as a whole. While I promote Philippine tourist destinations, I am also the first to warn and advice of the backside of being a tourist in the Philippines. And while I promote investments in the Philippines, I am also quick to warn of the "lagay" system prominent in every business dealings in both private and public sectors and would advice investors to practice patience and for them to make their dealings on a professional level.
Philippines will always have a soft spot in me. The Filipino in me will live on to my last breath and it is my hope that real change would happen soon.
It was a good read and best of all, it awakens the Filipino out of everyone who posted a comment on your blog.
I am particularly touched when you cried while singing "Ako ay Pilipino." You are right. We have always taken our citizenship for granted and never realized its importance until you are away from your motherland.
As for the bad governance, I'm sure we will agree to the fact that the elements of corruption and deceit is always present, not only in the Philippines, but on every corner of the world. Sure, we can all cite reasons why we shouldn't go back to the Philippines but as they say, "home is where the heart is." Whoever you are, wherever you are in the world, you will always long to go back to your home country.
I'm sure have an adorable daughter, a great family in fact. The information you fed her wasn't meant to blind her from the 1001 bad things that occur in the country but it is coming from the heart of a mother, who wants nothing but her daughter to be proud of her roots. It is better to leave her to judge what she thinks of the country when she is old enough. At least, the decision will have been made with a clean heart and mind and not because of someone's influence.
Mabuhay and Pilipinas at magkaroon sana ng pagbabago sa ilalim ng pamumuno ng Administrasyong Aquino!
Kaya lahat ng pinoy especially here in US dapat maging proud tayo to be pinoy. Hindi yung puro yabang tayo dito na akala mo pag magenglish eh daig pa ang kano. Puro tayo yabang dito sa US pag me bago sa Pinas ang reaction natin eh laging inferior yon dahil nasa pinas ito. Puro Colonial mentality ang alam natin dito. As if we are better pinoys kaseh nadito tayo sa US. Turuan nyong magtagalog mga anak nyo!! Di kayo kano, nakikitira lang tayo dito sa america. Pinoy pa rin kayo, tignan nyo ang inyong balat,pinoy na pinoy!!
tama po. the best way to project an identity is to speak the native tongue. may mga alam ko na kggling lang sa pinas na mga bata/teen-agers,wala pa isang taon sa aremica dna marunong magtagalog tsk tsk tsk may kilala pa akong australiano na asawa ay pinay na naghahanap ng kiddie school to learn tagalog, tingnan nyo, ibang lahi pa ang interesado na turuan anak nya ng tagalog. its an awkward situation when there is a pinoy gathering that all the elders are speaking tagalog/ilocano or visaya and yet the children are speaking english, can you imagine that?wouldnt it be better if everybody are speakng tagalog?
There is certainly nothing wrong if our children speak in foreign language especially if they're born in a foreign land. But as parents, it is our duty to teach them our native tongue to show them their roots and from which race they descended from.
Lest one would be dishonored for claiming that he or she is a Filipino, they tend to hide their real identities. Well, they are the "disgrace" in the Filipino race.
Philippines might not be the country which every Filipino can be proud of; but at least, let us always consider our famous saying -"Ang hindi marunong lumingon sa pinanggalingan ay hindi makararating sa paroroonan".
Nananawagan ang lahat ng OFW sa bagong administrasyon -- "PLEASE MAKE US PROUD! WE WANT CHANGE, IF NOT FOR US? AT LEAST FOR THE NEXT GENERATION. KAYA NATIN 'TO. PILIPINO TAYO!"
I have lived in the United States for roughly 30 of my 60 years in this world. As in most foreign countries, many United States residents do not seem to have a grasp of the growing pains of Philippines -- a country maturing after the forced colonization of 360 years of being in a Spanish nunnery followed by 50 years of Hollywood, under the United States. After we received our independence roughly 54 years ago and started a democratic form of government in the style of the United States, which by the way was forced unto us by our former colonizers with no cultural or historic considerations, we have stumbled, fallen and risen in the quest for a perfect democracy. This perfect democracy is something which the United States of America has been working on since 1776 and still grapples to completely achieve! 54 years into their democracy, the country was committing massacres and commandeering the land of the numerous Indian nations that originally owned the U.S. Yet we, Filipinos, are suppose to immediately transform to a 21st century democracy?! Let us be proud of ourselves for not undergoing atrocities of the magnitude these other countries had to resort to in order to achieve the democratic principles they now have. France had its bloody French revolution and the United States had their gory Indian nation massacres. Let us be proud that we had achieved a bloodless turnover of government after a 20 year dictatorship.
I am also a Filipino living in another country. I'm glad that you are still holding the Philippines to your heart and imparting this patriotism to your children eventhough you are in such a far country like France where they seem to have no idea that our country exists (even the majority of Brits don't know much about the Philippines and only able to refer to it as "somewhere near Thailand I guess").
I acknowledge the fact that our country had a rather sketchy profile when it comes to corruption in the government and being linked to terrorists.
But tell your daughter that corruption and terrorism is not just in the Philippines. It happens anywhere in the world. Even so-called superpower countries such as Great Britain and United States have these issues.
What's more important is that one remembers the beautiful side and the positive side of witnessing these tribulations.
I've just found out that having witnessed and experienced poverty made me more careful in handling my finances and made me strive more to help my family.
The British youths will never know what poverty is like because they can get financial aids (called benefits) from the government. They just get pregnant (or have partners pregnant) and they are given money and many tend not to look for a job. The thought of not having money to buy medicines to survive or pay for rent and bills had become a strange or unheard thing to them.
I think the advantage of coming from a third world is that the experience of poverty serves as an inspiration and purpose to one's life.
I hope you continue teaching your children not to forget their Filipino identities Marilyn.
Maganda po ang isinulat ninyo. Natutuwa ako na hindi ninyo nakalimutan ang pagiging Pilipino kahit nasa ibang bansa na kayo. Gusto ko lang po sanang bigyang pansin ang isang pangungusap: "Her eyes would glow as she proudly recited the history of the Philippines, from Magellan's landing to President Arroyo."
Ang kasaysayan po natin ay hindi nagsimula nang dumating ang mga mananakop na Kastila. Sana po ay maituro niyo rin ang mayamang kasaysayan at kultura ng ating bansa bago pa tayo naging kolonya ng Espanya.
Isa po akong marino na based dito sa Europe. Dapat nasabi nyo sa anak nyo ang reason kung bakit tinagurian tayong "people of the sea" is because one of the reason is the Philippines is a maritime country surrounded by water. Our ancestors reached the country by sailing through uncertain waters. No wonder maraming marinong pinoy. Nasa dugo at kultura na natin ang paglalayag. Nasa history din na ang alalay ni Magellan ay isang Filipino.
As a traveller, maraming kababayan natin ang namimeet ko. Based sa observation ko mas may cultural awareness ang mga Pilipino dito sa Europe compare sa US. Marami sa mga anak nila ang marunong managalog and sometimes speak their native dialects. Kahit yung mga pinanganak na sa europe. mapapansin mo naman yan sa mga artista na may dugong european unlike their fil-am counterparts na ilang taon na sa pinas eh bulol pa rin managalog.
Pinupuri kita madam sa iyong pagpapalaki sa iyong mga anak ng maayos sa kabila ng pagiging busy ninyong mag-asawa. Mabuhay ang pamilyang Pilipino!
I just read this from a newspaper.I actually love to read especially editorials or a features article but this article really touches my heart:)
while I'm reading this it made me think that,majority, Philippines got negative feedback,but despite of all that things I can say i'm still proud that I am Pilipino,with my head held high and say " Ako po ay isang Pilipino".
I admired you Ate Marilyn for still encouraging you children to practice our dialects,kahit na ba ang hirap mag-aral ng foreign language pero still binibigkas nyo pa rin yung ating lenguahe..
and beside tayong mga Pilipino ay family-oriented that's why a lot of foreign men,wants to have a Filipina wife..We're great!!! Mabuhay Pilipinas:))
Claire:)
To: Maan Marilyn P. Rayray
Contributor
Hi Maam,
Pwede ko po bang e post ang kwento na ito sa youtube or sa ibang website?Nais ko lang pong mabasa ito ng maraming pilipino lalong lalo na sa mga magulang at anak.Nais ko lang po na mapukaw ang damdamin ng mga magulang lalong lalo na sa mga nanunungkulan sa gobyerno at sa mga kababayan natin na nagbibigay ng serbisyo sa kapwa pilipino pati narin sa mga kababayan nating nangibang bansa.Wag po kayong mag alala Maam eh indicate ko po kung saan galing ang kwentong ito sa aking gagawin.Mag e-mail lang po kayo sa akin kung kinakailangan.Sana po ay pagbigyan nyo ang aking kahilingin.Nais ko lang po ay ang makatulong sa pagpukaw ng damdamin ng ating mga natutulog na kababayan sa kabila ng ating mga kahirapang dinaranas.I can't help but to cry nang nabasa ko ang kwentong ito at itoy malaking hamon sa aking sarili na magsumikap pah para makatulong sa ating mga naghihirap na kababayan.
ryan_read51@yahoo.com
I have a nephew who was born in the US. He belongs to the minority there, this is according to him. Although he is an American citizen, there is always this feeling that he wanted to see his parents' homeland. One day he went to the Philippines and fell in love with the country. The warmness of the Filipinos is incomparable with the Americans or the French for that matter. He, too, has heard a lot of negative stories about the country. He too was teased by his classmates about the bad image of the Philippines. But after his visit, he realized that there are a lot of beautiful and wonderful stories to tell also about the Philippines. If you can, do bring your children back for a vacation and let them see it for themselves how wonderful and beautiful our country is. Eventually, they will be able to figure out that all countries around the world has its share of negatives and positives. Thank you for your story.
Thanks a lot for an very very nice story!! It moved me not one but many times and it will do so for a long time! I am married to a negresse? from Cadiz. There are some bad things in Philippines but there are so much more of the nice things!
We have a son, soon 5 years, and we are going back to Cadiz this jan. My wife works in a grocery store. The store has more customers now and the owner has weekly this praised words of the very very nice and kind woman from asia :-)She has even learne the staff to smile to the customers.
I am soo proud of my Phillipina wife and I love the country more than my own, I'm from Norway.
This is a fascinating story by a born story-teller; real, true, touching and economic with great details. You get a clear feeling for both mother and daughter and their relationship and a wonderful sense of the daughter who is both appealing, intelligent and truely innocent in the same story and one arrives at this marvelous feeling of both sympathy and for those who have children, recognition. One is both charmed and saddened by her discovery of the "real" world and the conflict the mother feels at having her adored little girl confront reality.It is a memorable story and it stays with you long after its reading. I am not a Filipino, but I felt the patriotism, it's so contaminating in this article. Bravo to an exciting emerging writer who plans a new book on the family's sojourn in France. I look forward to reading it and send congratulations to my editorial assistant who has worked with me for several happy and productive years...
Barbara Chase-Riboud
Paris, France
Or you might read the posts in the site below to find truths about Philippine history:
http://www.asiafinest.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=201579&st=500&start=500
Thanks for such an informative article, it's been very useful.
Russian girls
Interesting post. I have been wondering about this issue,so thanks for posting
prepaid legal
I thought this was beautifully written - it brought a tear to my eye...
Kathy
I think the new leaders may indeed have the answers.
However, they spend most of their time playing online strip poker which is a bit of a waste of time. But fun, obviously...
Important questions and important answers. Wery well done!
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