Wanted: rich supermom and wealthy wonderdad

I can spot them 50 feet away — mommies with not a single strand of hair out of place, carrying tiny handbags, and with fingernails done to perfection. Mommies who are slim, trim, and confident. Sometimes, I wonder if I decided too early to be a work-at-home mom.

Think big, bulky, baby bags and endless trips to the pediatrician. Gone are the regular trips to the parlor for hair spa and I have long since traded my strappy sandals for comfy ToeBerries.

While interviewing Education Secretary Jesli Lapus at the sidelines of a conference last year with the World Bank senior guy looking on, I saw him eyeing my notebook suspiciously after I turned a page to take down notes. The entire spread was full of scribbles made by my two-year old son. Using a big-point permanent marker, I might add.

“My two-year old loves to draw,” I said in a feeble, embarrassed voice.

“I thought those were your scribbles,” the secretary said. He didn’t look amused.

Welcome to my world.

I’ve been an editorial consultant for almost eight years, now. I smiled a little lopsided smile when Noe Ravalo said in his most recent column:

Be careful that you do not get confused with labels: consulting is often more time consuming than a regular 9-to-5 job. The upside is that you can do part of the work at home (addressing your concern with the children) while continuing to stimulate your mind.

I work at home a few feet away from my toddler, true. And it’s one of the best things that happened to me in my writing career -– to be working for a company whose out-of-the-box thinking allows mommies and daddies to wow the world with their writing and organization skills wherever they are, as long as they have a laptop or PC, Internet connection and a mind that’s capable of separating domestic and professional chores 24×7. That can be at the office, in an Internet café, at home or wherever they find themselves. But if you think this means shorter working hours, you are dead wrong.

Still, a lot of parents I meet long for this arrangement. It’s not difficult to understand why but Noe said it best:

In this age of streaming information, 24 hours is never enough to get things done. Double-income is “convenient” but in the process our children are thrust into a 24/7 double-income-but-not-enough-time environment.

One mother I interviewed wondered why despite all the hard work and long hours, things don’t seem any better. You start the year thinking it will be better this year but before you realize it, you and your husband had been working five long years and are still in that same hard spot in between the utilities and the credit card bills?

In the meantime, the children are growing with the house help and the only time you get to play with them, I mean really be in that moment with them is during school Family Days. Once a year.

Are you one of those longing to give up your job to play with the children? Whether you want to be the rich supermom or the wealthy wonderdad, letting go of a career and embracing a life with lower income and less benefits is a move that can save families in many cases. Obviously, this move is not for all. Only you will really know if its for you -– no judgment here.

But if you’re raring to jump into being housemom or housedad superhero-ish status, whether on a full-time basis or on a work-at-home scheme, make sure your expectations are not over the top. I will try to bring you back to earth a little bit, so you can prepare yourself.

1. Plan ahead for the immediate drop in family income and how to meet the bills that are hard to downsize, like tuition, utilities, medical bills and debt obligations. Do a trial run. Try to live on single income for a while and save one parent’s income in a separate bank account. Don’t jump in on a whim or you might get a head shock.
2. Do a tally sheet of company benefits you will be giving up and determine whether you can live without them. Retirement plans, health plans, car plans, salary loans and others are all part of the difficult process of weighing and deciding.
3. Determine whether the parent who will be keeping her job is happy where she is and whether she has a good alternative plan if things turn bad at the office.
4. How are you going to attack the tax issue? Consultants are subject to a 12.0 percent value-added tax or a 3.0 percent percentage tax. Other companies may be more creative. You will need to engage an accountant.
5. If you are going to work at home, you will be paying for your own airconditioning, Internet connection, and incidental expenses like meetings outside the office. See if you can negotiate with your company to shoulder part of the cost.
6. This is not a financial consideration but a crucial one: do you have the discipline? Some work-at-home parents are undone by the sounds of Playhouse Disney or Cartoon Network in the background. The kitchen, the refrigerator and all its delicious smells are perennial temptations. It takes a lot of discipline to work at home and separate yourself from domestic distractions. You will find that the pangs of guilt you felt leaving the house in the morning when you worked at the office will be repeated a dozen times in a day when you have to tell your kid you can’t play because your deadline is coming up.

The best way to handle domestic distractions is to separate your working space and avoid the fluffy slippers when you work. Clock in the way you do at the office whether its at 3 a.m. or 8 a.m., and wear your strappy sandals if you have to. Patiently let the young ones understand that when mommy or daddy is working, he has to work too. Break times are designated in advance and that’s when cuddles are best done –- when you can give him your full attention.

My 7-year old son once barged in before break time and was talking behind my office chair at a pace of 10 words per second, excited about the first day of school. I patiently explained to him again the situation and instead of the usual protests and long face, he said:

“Okay, see you on Monday!”

It WAS Monday. That was the birth of our secret mommy-working-time code. It is a magical code, because it always gets me a smile and hug.

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