Ask me for horror stories about maids, yayas and house help and I could go on for hours –- all based on experience. But from time to time, many of us come across genuine beings that sacrifice personal comfort to give service that would beat the best hotels. They would provide companionship and even understanding of our idiosyncrasies, break a fight or wipe a tear from our children’s faces when we can’t be there for them, or even shield us from hateful neighbors.
I have known exemplary house help who put their lives on voluntary suspension to take care of their employers’ meals, homes and children. They do not date, ending up single for the rest of their lives. They don’t nurture friendships since security is a very valid issue especially in Metro Manila. They see their families only once a year, even occasionally missing that visit to a far-off home when the need arises. When we travel abroad or leave the country for good, admit it. They are one of the first we miss the most: no more beds that get made up in the morning, almost as if by magic.
It is but fair to treat human kindness with the same. And truth be told, there are horror employer stories that would make children-exploiting Nike executives blush. Uncomfortable beds, rooms with no privacy, more than 14-hour working days for pay that’s good for five, zero benefits but a lot of curses.
Years ago, I interviewed a senior airline executive. She was based in the Middle East. She candidly shared that she used to be a domestic helper in one of the countries there. Her employers were Muslim Arabs who saw her potential. They sent her to school. They encouraged her to aim for the stars. Her emails to me indicate that she is a very well educated woman who is a deep thinker. She would make a very good writer.
“Salve, maids and employers deep inside them are the same. It just so happened that one of them is born under better circumstances. It could have been entirely possible that I was born the employer and she was the maid,” I remember her telling me in an email.
Sadly enough, many Filipinos mistreat their maids. The high-profile case of Marichu Suarez Baoanan vs Ambassador Lauro Baja Jr. and his family is a tale that’s told again and again, in many different variations and it doesn’t happen only in wealthy families.
Haven’t you seen maids used as a status symbol, but watched closely when they eat? In the kitchen of a very close acquaintance, I marveled how three maids were not allowed to eat on the same kinds of plate the family use nor eat the same food as the rest of the household. The leftovers that are almost spoiled are the only ones good enough for them – and they are rationed at that. Whenever they are seen sitting or resting, the employer thinks of something that they can do so that they are “maximized”.
I can’t say this strongly enough: there is nothing respectable about people who abuse their house help. If proper treatment for humane reasons is not possible, at least for security. At the end of the day, they are the ones who cook the food and who watch the children when we are gone.
At some point, we need to think about what the house help stand to gain from years of service. Even the ones that occasionally make our heads spin with their antics or texting habits deserve a Social Security System number and employer contribution, fair salary, health benefits and 13th month pay (or at least a Christmas bonus).
I know of at least one insurance policy that’s easy enough on the pocket (premium was around P1500 per annum for accident and health) for employers to buy for their house help. Perhaps as an incentive for the ones who are loyal, honest and true, employers can teach them how to save and prepare for their own future.
Such a gift of time and patience can only be good for the entire household.
July 25th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
@oda, ria, maffrey
Your exchanges are like a Christian and a Muslim debating - endless.
You were all exposed to different cultures (Western and Asian). What can be acceptable to one society, may not be for another. Muslims may find eating pork dirty and disgusting, but for others, it is perfectly fine.
Some cultures find eating with hands barbaric, but for the Indians, it is a way of life.
Let’s not bash someone for their opinion, especially if that is the norm in the society he lives in.
I have lots of American and European friends who for most of their lives never had house help. But when they migrated in Asia, they have a yaya for each kid.
As they say, “when in Rome…”
July 25th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Sa amin naman, 4K ang sweldo ng helper per month. Tas may 13th month pay tuwing dec. Ang percentage increase nya, depende sa % increase ng sweldo ko. haha! VL pala meron din monthly. =D
how much ba ang salary ng helper ninyo? and ano ba ang average? benefits?
also, ang treatment ko sa helper ay semi professional, semi kapamilya (or kapuso kung sa kabilang station ang trip mo).
I respect her. I try to increase her engagement. I try to cap her utilization rate at 8 work hours per day. Pero dapat mag deliver sya ng maayos na trabaho since ito ang source ng income nya.
I’m not saying na this is a good practice, nor naghahanap ako ng validation sa inyo. I’m just saying ito ang realidad ng helper while employed sa amin.
July 25th, 2008 at 3:26 am
If you employ double standards in treating your maids, the likelihood that they will also employ double standards in handling the food you put in your mouth, the clothes you cover your intimate parts, and your prized possessions is high.
I know of long time maids who are nicest as can be, yet, will drop the steak on the floor and serve it. Heck, I know one guy-maid who urinated in the juice… They had their own reasons. Maid or not, the desire to “get back” in some way when slighted is almost universal. You may choose not to act on it, but sometimes, you can only take so much.
Kindness begets kindness, however, there is also the saying “an eye for an eye…”
When you leave your toddler alone with the maid, what it is going to be?
P.S. I know of a former Imelda Marcos crony/blue lady (I heard that’s what they were called) who used to travel to the US just to get $200+ hair cut from a favorate Beverly Hills salon, but have now fallen into hard times. She’s an illegal alien who works as a maid for a surly old lady who does not think highly of Asians. Former blue lady complains the old lady accuses her of eating the old lady’s food. A friend said, “Isn’t that the way you used to treat your maids?” The former blue lady cried. Karma.
July 24th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
“You two talk as if you are better than others.”
I’m going to speak for myself here. I only pointed out the reality of the situation. Fact is, some people treat house helps as someone of lesser stature than them and then make excuses about it. This discussion won’t be this heated if it’s only happening in my imagination.
Having no maid now is a moot point. It’s not too hard to know what’s going on.
July 24th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Wow. You still fail to see the point. I think Oda summed it up pretty well.
“Giving the helpers cheaper food than the employers eat..” Amazing.
All I can say is, sadly, you are not alone.