IT IS no secret that a lot of marital conflict is due to the way money is handled in the family. Sad, but true. At the recent “Money Sense Live! Family Finance 101” seminar organized by Learning Curve, Heinz Bulos, editor-in-chief of Money Sense magazine, says the reasons why couples fight over money include:
* having different money personalities
* valuing money in different ways
* both parties wanting to take charge or one is clueless or not interested
* both parties still live as if they're single
* having difficulty trusting
* being irresponsible
Having different backgrounds may be the root cause of money fights, but the real root cause when you look into it is the lack of unity.
Ambie Bulos, wife of Heinz, and a trainer, shares that couples should start thinking of themselves as “one unit.” She quotes Genesis 2:24 in the Bible, which says: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Thus, being of “one flesh” is being “one unit.”
There are 4 C's to making money problems a thing of the past in marriage, according to Ambie:
1. Communicate. Understand where you're coming from. Share your dreams and goals. Ambie even recommends having a planning session every year just between husband and wife where money goals and plans will be discussed. Communicate regularly and openly.
2. Create. Plan together for the future. Divide money tasks. Whoever is good at handling money should be in charge. Merge your finances—this is for married couples only. Ambie warns singles not to go into having a joint account with a girlfriend or boyfriend. She also recommends that married couples have a joint account. Without it, wives may have a false sense of security, not knowing the state of the family's finances, or husbands may feel that they work and work and spend for everything, not knowing where the money goes.
3. Commit. Stick to your plan. Share sacrifices equally and enjoy privileges together.
4. Compromise. Sometimes things cannot be resolved. Agree to disagree. Find ways to compromise, such as giving each other an allowance which may be spent as one wants. Should conflict escalate and show no sign of being resolved, get professional help.
In closing, Ambie says, “Money is not worth fighting about. Love one another. Think as one.”
Avoid couple fights over money
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About this Entry
This page contains a single entry by Karen Galarpe published on August 26, 2009 8:54 AM.
Renewing your driver's license soon? was the previous entry in this blog.
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This is a good advise however, can you please help us to solve our financial problem. To date we are in deep debts, we are almost in our golden years we often fight because our income is no longer enough due to payments of debts. We however try our best to avoid fighting over this and and just do all the ways to make both end meets Thanks.
money is an instrument.
a reservoir of power that can be use to build or destroy. so money is hot to handle. it cntinously dance if you can not conrol the tempo yourself. therefore it is very important for husband and wife to agree on what manner and how to use the money at hand
According to the BIBLE, it is the husband (father) who is the breadwinner of the family, should handle finances. It is his responsibility to provide the needs of his family starting from his wife and children. If something wrong on the financial matters, it is he alone responsible.
In practical terms, the husband (father) must be financial literate and have enough financial knowledge. He should act as mandated on the BIBLE and based on the Parable of the Talents. If the husband knows about this there will be no problem on the financial aspect of the marriage and family relationship. I have done it on my part. Blessedly, I have bestowed by our LORD JESUS CHRIST, a Godly financial knowledge to handle money matters.
Money indeed is most of the time the root cause of all problems, especially for the married couples. So in order to avoid the conflicts which involves money, the couple and their families (father, mother, sons and daughters) must know the real value of money and how to spend it wisely. Today for practical reasons, father and mother must work together in order for their families to survive. Children must be aware of the importance and the real value of the money they spend. By spending it wisely, by buying only the things that you need and not just what you want.
"Family is like a Machine. Each member has its own PURPOSE and FUNCTION. In order to function well, everyone should work together."
P.S.
Just a simple thought..
I believe in this. Money is somehow the object of conflict for married couples.
I think I should go back to this post again when my time comes to settle and to have my own family.
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