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Avoid couple fights over money

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IT IS no secret that a lot of marital conflict is due to the way money is handled in the family. Sad, but true. At the recent “Money Sense Live! Family Finance 101” seminar organized by Learning Curve, Heinz Bulos, editor-in-chief of Money Sense magazine, says the reasons why couples fight over money include: *  having different money personalities *  valuing money in different ways *  both parties wanting to take charge or one is clueless or not interested *  both parties still live as if they're single *  having difficulty trusting *  being irresponsible Having different backgrounds may be the root cause of money fights, but the real root cause when you look into it is the lack of unity. Ambie Bulos, wife of Heinz, and a trainer, shares that couples should start thinking of themselves as “one unit.” She quotes Genesis 2:24 in the Bible, which says: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Thus, being of “one flesh” is being “one unit.” There are 4 C's to making money problems a thing of the past in marriage, according to Ambie: 1. Communicate. Understand where you're coming from. Share your dreams and goals. Ambie even recommends having a planning session every year just between husband and wife where money goals and plans will be discussed. Communicate regularly and openly. 2. Create. Plan together for the future. Divide money tasks. Whoever is good at handling money should be in charge. Merge your finances—this is for married couples only. Ambie warns singles not to go into having a joint account with a girlfriend or boyfriend. She also recommends that married couples have a joint account. Without it, wives may have a false sense of security, not knowing the state of the family's finances, or husbands may feel that they work and work and spend for everything, not knowing where the money goes. 3. Commit. Stick to your plan. Share sacrifices equally and enjoy privileges together. 4. Compromise. Sometimes things cannot be resolved. Agree to disagree. Find ways to compromise, such as giving each other an allowance which may be spent as one wants. Should conflict escalate and show no sign of being resolved, get professional help. In closing, Ambie says, “Money is not worth fighting about. Love one another. Think as one.”

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This page contains a single entry by Karen Galarpe published on August 26, 2009 8:54 AM.

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