March 2009 Archives

By Pennie Azarcon-dela Cruz, Executive Editor Sunday Inquirer Magazine IT’S that time of year again when I feel I’ve died and gone to heaven. Once a year just before Holy Week, books, books and more books drop like manna from the sky, giving us staff an excuse to lounge around feeling like Tom Sawyer chewing on a blade of grass while studying the clouds. Except we’re popping our eyeballs reading the latest book releases so we can write reviews that, hopefully, will guide readers into picking the right titles to pack with their swimwear and goggles for the Lenten break. This is one time when we really get to say--with a dolorous sigh and buckets of crocodile tears, “Tough job, but someone’s got to do it!” Yeeaah, Momma! Here are some quotes from five titles I’ve chosen for the diverse audience they address: “The Independence of Mary Bennett” for the hopeless (or rather, the hopeful) romantic, “The Mayor of Castro Street” for gays, gay advocates, social scientists and history buffs; “the Many Ways of Being Muslim” for the literati, Muslims, and anybody who wants a good read, “Cory: An Intimate Portrait,” not just for Coryistas but also those seeking another definition of leadership beyond tantrums at Malacanang, and “The Philippines Through European Lens,” for anthropologists, historians, senior folk and just about anybody who finds interesting the grainy but striking black and white photographs of Filipinos and the Philippines during colonial times. Ideal for photo buffs (and which Pinoy isn’t?), this last is the perfect foil for the flawless (thanks to photoshop) digital shots of the here and now. 1. “Cory” (An Intimate Portrait) by Margie Penson-Juico (editor) I vividly remember the coup attempts of August 1987. I was out supervising the placement of armor around the palace when bursts of gunfire rang out. I rushed to the president’s official residence in Arlegui St. across from Malacañang, and found the president and her family upstairs. I asked them to go downstairs and turn off all lights, and instructed my guards to stand mattresses against the windows. I then made a headcount and found one missing. I went back upstairs and noticed light coming through the open bathroom door. It was the president combing her hair. “Ma’am,” I begged, “Please go to the ground floor, it’s not safe here,” to which she calmly replied that she needed to look presidentially presentable when she met the media. Here was the woman reported by a newspaper columnist to have hidden under the bed at the height of the coup attempts. In fact, she was the calmest soul around.” (Volts Gazmin, “The Calmest Soul Around,” p. 59) 2. “The Independence of Miss Mary Bennet” by Colleen McCullough He began to plot. First of all, how to meet his Mary not only again, but many times? Secondly, how to impress her with his undeniable assets? Thirdly, how to make her fall in love with him? In love at last, he found to his horror that things like social imbecility did not matter. Once he had snared her, he would have to paint Mrs. Angus Sinclair as an eccentric. That is the best quality of the English, he thought: they have an affinity for eccentrics. (p. 62) 3. “The Mayor of Castro Street” (The Life and Times of Harvey Milk) by Randy Shilts Gays who escaped blackmailers had to run the gauntlet with “Lilly Law,” as police were known among gays in the 1930s. Police knew that one Market Street theater was a popular pit stop for wandering gay men, so authorities routinely assigned seats there to the most comely police cadets. Once a gay man sidled to the next seat, the cadets would wriggle their legs suggestively. After the preliminaries of fellatio, the plainclothesman would suggest that the pair meet outside for more fun. In the darkness of the theater, the gay cruiser would not know the policeman had painted mercurochrome on his penis. The artistry, however, was obvious to the vice squanders who stood in the lobby, arresting any man who emerged with telltale red lips. (p. 49) 4. “The Many Ways of Being Muslim”(Fiction by Muslim Filipinos). Edited by Coeli Barry After the prayer, Sayid goes out to the mosque, to pray some more. I began filming. Connie’s gown is on her bed, kept in place by the heavy crown. The “panumping” is mine. I have to lend it to her because hers wouldn’t fit on her head for some strange reason. Do you want me to wake your mother? I ask. No, thanks. She takes the prayer garb off. She’s just wearing panties, black ones. Her skin is alabaster-smooth, small belly, nipples like soft erasers that can make Sayid forget me. I become aware of the folds of skin on my tummy, my wrinkles, crow’s feet, and a dead toenail on my left foot. (“Ayesha’s Pretty Hate Machine” by Pearlsha Abubakar, p.168) 5. “The Philippines Through European Lenses” (Late 19th Century Photographs from the Meerkamp van Embden Collection) by Otto van Den Muijzenberg Along entrance trails, images were placed to protect the inhabitants. I was able to secure two wooden anito figures. Both are carved from the trunks of young trees about a meter high; one of them carries a bow and four bamboo arrows…the mouth and eyes have been indicated by stones, and the back is decorated with long reed grass. On their heads and at their feet, the Kiangans place offerings like rice, corn, tobacco or betel nut, and a coconut shell containing basi wine. I wanted to take these two figures along, but I had to refrain from it as my porters were so frightened they would have dropped my baggage and run away. (p. 185) For brief but concise reviews of 64 new titles, check out the Summer Reading Issue of the Sunday Inquirer Magazine on March 29. Free with your copy of the Philippine Daily Inquirer!

By Ruel S. De Vera, Associate Editor Sunday Inquirer Magazine YEAH, yeah we Filipinos eat pretty much anything, it’s true. It’s a matter of taste in more than one way. The food that other people find objectionable, I usually don’t have a problem with. Balut? The soup is awesome and salt makes it perfect. The one food stuff I cannot in any way understand is azucena. Dogs are your friend not our food. Seriously. But the one food which I like that other people really seem to have a problem with is chicken feet, also known by that witty footwear pseudonym Adidas. From childhood, chicken feet was a dish I got served pretty regularly. I never thought of it as anything else except normal. You can usually get a lot of it for almost nothing because most chicken vendors consider it remainders. Which is a good thing, because it takes quite a lot of chicken feet to feed a group of growing children as so little meat can actually be found on the bone. There are two important things to remember about chicken feet. The first is that it needs to be marinated very heavily. The chicken feet themselves would be bland on their own, though the chewy nature gives it a very distinctive texture. The usual way to cook them would be adobado, seasoned with a lot of soy sauce and spices. When served, the feet need to be really dark and sticky, because that promises a really strong soy sauce taste to go with the chewy feel. The second thing, and this is crucial, is that chicken feet need to be eaten by hand. It’s absurd to eat them with utensils since you have to use the cutting tools with incredible dexterity to get the meat off the bones. But put all these elements together, and you have a really busy meal, with the heavy marinade coming off not only on your hands but also on the rice, becoming a kind of extra sauce. The day I realized that chicken feet is an acquired taste was a viewing of “The Amazing Race.” In Asia, the teams had to eat cooked chicken feet and the teams were uniformly and overwhelmingly disgusted by the task. I couldn’t believe it. I was like, “what’s so hard? It’s lunch!” After that, I found out that many, many people find chicken feet to be a truly reprehensible meal. There are many reasons, none of which I understand, which is pretty much the case for anyone who eats anything unpopular. The strange thing is I have never considered myself an adventurous eater. My parents tell me I was very picky eater as a child. So why can I eat something that many others can’t? It’s a tasty mystery to be sure. Read about all kinds of exotic food in the March 15, 2009 issue of the Sunday Inquirer Magazine.

IT is always weird to be sitting somewhere quiet and then someone reading a book suddenly bursts out in uncontrollable laughter. But such is the power of really, really funny books. Sense of humor being relative and all, some books are clearly funnier than others. Here are a few recommendations, books that, if read while you’re drinking soda, will send softdrinks through your nose: 1. “Twisted” by Jessica Zafra: The first of Zafra’s smart, acerbic essay collections remains the best. Originally published in 1995, it is still sharp after over a decade. 2. “The Best of Pugad Baboy” by Pol Medina Jr.: These small books gathering Medina’s strips about the overweight denizens of Pugad Baboy are particularly effective when read in moving vehicles and waiting rooms. 3. “No Shitting in the Toilet” by Peter Moore: Aussie Moore has been around the world, riding and eating and drinking it up. His tips, recommendations and warnings are universal. 4. "Leading with my Chin” by Jay Leno: If you think Leno is hilarious now, you should read about him growing up. This memoir shows that he found the funny in everything—especially school. 5. “Confessions of a DOM” and pretty much anything by Gary Lising: The manic Lising can’t stop being funny even when doing regular things and his go-to topics (his looks, sex, stupidity) are evergreen. 6. “The More The Manyer”: Wow, we use a lot of bizarre malapropisms, don’t we? “Keep that bear in mind” is a good one and Elbert Or’s drawings are a good pulutan. 7. “Ngalang Pinoy” edited by Nenin Sta. Romana-Cruz: From nicknames to storefronts, this book has all the evidence you need that we find humor in any situation. 8. “Me Talk Pretty One Day” by David Sedaris: To borrow the phrase, the Sedarises puts the “fun” in dysfunctional. You won’t believe what David and his mates come up with to keep from being boredom. 9. “Nextwave: Agents of Hate” by Warren Ellis and Stuart Immonen: This comic book series from Marvel Comics takes superhero tropes and sends them up—in regular Marvel continuity. Oddly enough, Aaron Stack—Machine Man—came out of this run a hot commodity. 10. “Wala Lang” by Bud Tomas: This underrated collection of essays about a guy’s travails through grade school all the way to high school is smart and hits the right spot. Read about all the funny stuff in the March 8 issue of the Sunday Inquirer Magazine.