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By Ruel S. De Vera Associate Editor MOVIES are a devotion for some people, and going to the movies is a pilgrimage. Yes, the latest movies can usually be found on DVD and there’s a lot being shown on TV, but going to the movies is an event. The best example I can think of when it comes to turning a trip to the movies into something to look forward to comes from a movie itself: “Annie!” In that movie, Daddy Warbucks and the Little Orphan parade down a line of white-gloved attendants—in the middle of a delightfully over-the-top kickline number called, naturally, “Let’s Go To The Movies”—to watch ____. The movie was beside the point; it was the going that mattered. Today, it takes a herculean effort to get a bunch of people together early and quickly enough to be able to go see a movie together. Texts have been returned and there’s the discussion of which mall to go to and which place to have dinner at before/after… Yep, it’s a big deal. Too bad people don’t dress up to go to the movies anymore—aside from the requisite jacket for the frosty air-conditioning (read: Power Plant Cinema)—would you believe people used to turn out in suits and jewelry to watch a feature? Nowadays, people look like they just returned from a trip to 7-Eleven. But there is an anticipation that lends itself uniquely to a movie night. All that hassle becomes a countdown to having a good time. There are requisites to such a night of course. But there are things that can quickly ruin such a major expedition to the cinema. These are the dreaded don’ts at the theater, but people do, anyway. 1) Unspoiled: Imagine that you’ve stayed off the Net, basically ignored friends who have gone to see the movie before you, and been saying “ABCDEFGHIJKL…” with ears covered up all week just so you won’t find out the big twist at the end of the movie. Then, just as you’re waiting to enter the theater… this loudmouth comes out, stating, “Wow, I can’t believe Dumbledore died!” Now, granted a lot of people do this as a joke, blurting out red herrings, but there are many more people who do this still. Look, if I want to know that she’s a guy, Bruce Willis is a ghost and that dude has a friggin’ twin then I will look it up myself. Thanks for nothing. 2) Foot Forward: I understand you are tired from work or saving the world or something, but there is nothing that allows you to a) put your foot on top of the empty chair in front of you, or b) put your foot against my backrest and start whacking it. But that’s not the worst. To do these things after taking off your shoes and socks, what the hell is wrong with you? Where did I hide that Taser… 3) Food Fight: OK, I can see you got that bucket of butter-substance popcorn, but can you please refrain from playfully flinging it at your friend-squeeze-companion because he or she said something funny? That’s because the popcorn inevitably misses your friend completely and hits the unfortunate person behind—who happens to be me. Here’s a deal: you throw popcorn at me and I can throw hotdogs at you. With the bun and dressing. 4) Commentary: Nuff said. If I wanted a blow-by-blow account, I’d buy the DVD. 5) Dialogue Coach: You’re watching the movie and then in the darkness someone’s cellphone is clearly on. Then you hear the hushed but still very much audible dialogue: “Hello! I’m at a movie. What’s that? Really? I’m in a movie…” and on and on for five minutes! Wait, did you not listen to the Kung Fu Panda at the start of the film? These are a few of my cinema cine-nots, what are yours? Read about the brouhaha over the movies of would-be national artist Carlo J. Caparas in the October 5, 2009 issue of the Sunday Inquirer Magazine.