Dear Expat
- Reader Contributions -
By Pam Galisim
I spent the first couple of minutes trying to figure out a connection between our asymptotic views. Thought I’d tell you what I was thinking that day and you replied to me by telling me of your passionate hatred towards my country…then I realized, “Simply Dear Expat, It’s the Philippines and you are from a different country, don’t take it any seriously ok?!”. I’m hoping that by thinking like that all diversified disconnections, like our cultures (or the lack thereof) suddenly will be justified. But on one end, maybe you just wanted a spontaneous sharing of thoughts. I don’t claim to be an expert but having lived here for the past 28 years spurred me to share this to you, my dear transient friend.
In this spirit, I’d say that I have no further reaction than an insight of your hatred being a function of such “familiarity- breeding contempt”. I have a friend who has gone to a marriage counseling session over her “defunct” marital relationship. Their counselor told her and her husband that you can tell if a couple will last a year, two or so by observing how they are with each other for the next 15 minutes. The observer would just have to take note of facial expressions, sighs which convey hints of contempt. Basically to see how much the couple can stand each other. At this, they would be advised if the relationship is still healthy of not.
My point? In “‘Expat time scale”, a year or a little over is probably enough to render all the signs of contempt (should there be any) from a love-hate relationship that you’ve built with this country through time. Indeed , it is also possible that you haven’t stayed in another country (other than your home) long enough to say it is better or, you have probably stayed in this country far too long to see so much of its flaws and realize how you just can’t live with it. At which case, like any couple with such contempt, your relationship with this country is no longer healthy (for you, at the most part). So before even nudging a nonchalant comment about this country to any Pinoy or Pinay, think, think and think…how long have you been here? [Read the rest of this entry »]
