By Pam Galisim
I spent the first couple of minutes trying to figure out a connection between our asymptotic views. Thought I'd tell you what I was thinking that day and you replied to me by telling me of your passionate hatred towards my country...then I realized, "Simply Dear Expat, It's the Philippines and you are from a different country, don't take it any seriously ok?!". I'm hoping that by thinking like that all diversified disconnections, like our cultures (or the lack thereof) suddenly will be justified. But on one end, maybe you just wanted a spontaneous sharing of thoughts. I don't claim to be an expert but having lived here for the past 28 years spurred me to share this to you, my dear transient friend.
In this spirit, I'd say that I have no further reaction than an insight of your hatred being a function of such "familiarity- breeding contempt". I have a friend who has gone to a marriage counseling session over her "defunct" marital relationship. Their counselor told her and her husband that you can tell if a couple will last a year, two or so by observing how they are with each other for the next 15 minutes. The observer would just have to take note of facial expressions, sighs which convey hints of contempt. Basically to see how much the couple can stand each other. At this, they would be advised if the relationship is still healthy of not.
My point? In "'Expat time scale", a year or a little over is probably enough to render all the signs of contempt (should there be any) from a love-hate relationship that you've built with this country through time. Indeed , it is also possible that you haven't stayed in another country (other than your home) long enough to say it is better or, you have probably stayed in this country far too long to see so much of its flaws and realize how you just can't live with it. At which case, like any couple with such contempt, your relationship with this country is no longer healthy (for you, at the most part). So before even nudging a nonchalant comment about this country to any Pinoy or Pinay, think, think and think…how long have you been here?There is nothing more this country can do to make you love or at least accept it. Especially if it’s your choice to look at the dark side of things (e.g. traffic, pollution, corruption, hypocrisy etc). Despite the friendships you've formed, all the nice beaches and the affordable hobbies you can nurture, this country is or will soon be an "ex-lover" you can't wait to get rid of . The Philippines, however, will owe you no favors even if you start loving it; neither will it disappear in some dismal universe the more you curse it to its bones by over analyzing it. Either way, ordinary Pinoy parents can only continue to tell their kids to make this country if not the world a better place, corrupted politicians will tell their kids how noble their candy-coated jobs are while the middle-class will still struggle for a blind hope that things can only get better. When will it end? Please don't look at me.
At the end of the day, it is you dear Expat who will grow tired and waste your measly days away should you keep digging. Thinking of the lawless, barbaric ways of this country is like going down a bottomless pit of disgusting flaws that could drain you, just by thinking about it. Perhaps it doesn’t take 28 years or a defunct marriage to merit giving an advice like this, only a diplomatic desire to "love where you are at".
So much said, maybe a couple of points missed, it would help to know what really you are looking for in a country. In the end, like an ex-lover who has made years of your life hell, you might even thank this country whose insane qualities became your stimuli to find your ideal home.
Dear Expat
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Love this article!
too deep to penetrate.
i cannot fathom the what is referred and equivalent.
my mind is only good for common sense and not on prose or poetic meaning.
anyway, good writings.
Good write ups…
You couldn’t judge a book by its cover, you have to open it and read its content… in humanity - you have to stay with him/her in long period of time, in order to say and conclude that he/she is good a person and well-mannered…
Just like a place too, you couldn’t just simply say that a place is better and superior… except you stayed, observed and feel the real situation and condition… the people and its atmosphere…
And that is simply our home… our vicinity… and our country…
hear! hear!
Crazy as it sounds. A country is only as good as its citizen and I believe on that.
Israel, Japan, Singaporeans, just to mention a few; all these countries built their complex society through strong sense of proprieties. It is in their genes to avoid through their tradition and laws not to allow anyone, or even their government to commit abuses.
In Japan, they practice hara-kiri or a traditional form of suicide, sometimes ritually performed as a point of honor, involving disembowelment with a sword to atone for their mistakes.
In Singapore, the government’s intolerance against wrong doing of their citizen has contributed a lot to their being an economic success.
And in Israel, their religion forbids it.
We can’t afford to remain complaisant on the corruptions blatantly committed by our government officials. The abuses, the lies, the human right violations, the embezzlements of public funds, just a tip of the ice barge, has rampages in all sector in our government, to say the least.
Being branded as 3rd most corrupt among nations is already a thing to ponder. But no, like hippopotamus and ostrich, we bury ourselves with all excuses that everything is business as usual.
To ‘rock the boat’ or to be aware to these wrongdoings is not hatred. For the sense of patriotism sometimes bring enlightenment on what our nation really needs. Moral regeneration is most wanting. We can not just sit aside and let the event overwhelm us or to remain complaisant to the point of hopelessness. We can not stay indifferent for if we do, then more and more abuses ensue.
Our government has metamorphosed from a benevolent democratic form into a tyrant, an oligarchy.
For people who proposes love, understanding, unity and the likes amidst the dismal political environment deserves to be thrown to a smoldering caldron Our public officials lacks accountability to their misdeeds. Just look at what Governor Panlilio is now confronting.
Governor Panlilio, one who seeks to bring back public trust to his constituency, through forthright performance, is now the victim of our corrupt government. He is like a thorn among the roses. He is different. He is our deliverance.
Incredible, such a refreshing change from heavy blogs
This letter delivers a slap in the face but feels more stinging than the real one.
But there is no other word mentioned here that leaves me disarmed upon learning that apart from the myriad of evilness, badness, or any word with the negative of connotations that Filipinos are known for, I just couldn't truly gather myself to accept that we are hypocrites.
I have observed that, generally, Filipinos have worse attitudes than other nationalities here in Saudi, but I have never found them to be hypocrites.
Maybe I just did not look at it that way although it had been there for so long. And maybe, it's time for not only me but also for all of the Filipinos to face hypocrisy and get rid of it.
For me, it's okay to be destitute, ugly, neglected, or dumb. But not hypocrite.
Thanks Pam for writing such a courageous article.
Who is she referring to?
What does it say?
Philippine Judiciary breaks the Book of Guinness as the most laggard?
It takes 3 judges; one retired, another died, and the third decided the case. 10 years has passed, rain or shine, I attend the hearing, absent or present, for the individuals that are supposed to be in court, and I remain relentless. But, it all ended like a baptismal of fire, my other court cases are the same. Their progress is on snail phase.
America contributed substantial sum of money as aid, hoping that financially it may help expedite the process but to no avail. Then, the Philippine Chief Justice move to heavily tax the complainant, wherein court proceedings become too expensive. Again, nothing happened but brings the citizens desire to seek justice, beyond their reach.
Where in the world would you find the like of a Court Prosecutors’ Office which requires complainant to submit more than 50 duplicates as affidavits? Perhaps, these office is engages on a Junk Shop business. For where would they use so many copies? Before, only 5 copies for the first complaint and 3 additional copies are required for additional complaint. But now, more than 50 copies. We are now at the ages of computer, why would you need so much?
Any suggestion?
Well-written. I couldn't agree more.
I came across an expat blog (american expat in Phils.) and I think its author needs to read this. I might just send her this link :)
wonderwoman Says:
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:17 am
Philippine Judiciary breaks the Book of Guinness as the most laggard?
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Long and tedious litigation... that is the principle in court cases.
Dura lex sed lex... the law maybe harsh or hard but it still the law.
you made it after 4 years of law studies after a 4 years bachelor degree, 6 months review and 6 months nervous waiting... what is there to complain about.
The lady is blindfolded with weighing scale... she cannot just pinpoint who the winner and loser is... it needs justification , in short evidence for it will be a long hardships to loser.
Many judges have been suspended, fined, admonished for failing to act on time...that is justice for whiner and shame for the magistrate.
Though life is express like fast food int this age of info tech still....
Patience is a virtue.
Thanks for all the feedback on this. I wrote this article "unapologetically" in reponse to off shores who cannot understand us. Yes this has been based from various conversations with my foreign friends. Most of the time I chose to be quiet and listen to them but a kindred desire lays a fire on me to decide to love my country even more. Yes, despite despite despite hence, this entry. Beyond this, i believe other nations apart from ours have experienced the same "typecasting". Indeed, Seeing beauty is a decision every stranger in a foreign land can make (for their sake). This article does'nt go beyond a simple suggestion to every foreigner who gets shaken by their own insights or judgements.
good job my dear "pulela" :)
This can never be my country!!!!NEVER!!!im 35 years old filipino,businessman-happily married w/ 2 children,willing to escape this crazy country but I cant,why?
The expats are not to blame, we are. GMA's selling the Philippines at a bargain, would you blame the expats for treating us this cheap.
Our fake president has no shame. If you have pride left within you, what are you going to do about it?
Art Says:
September 14th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
This can never be my country!!!!NEVER!!!im 35 years old filipino,businessman-happily married w/ 2 children,willing to escape this crazy country but I cant,why?
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If this country Philippines will never be your country, then better be exiled to a country which you may call your own.
I recommend that you go to Africa Sudan, Somalia, Kenya or Rwanda and you will say Ibalik ninyo ako sa Pilipinsa.
You are not worth to be called Pilipino for Philippines is for the Pilipino.
Sorry to say but majority of the Filipinos are conformist. Optimism or even pessism would spell out what a Filipino is. Sad to say were not those types.
Question, What shoes or sneakers, T-shirts, chocolate bars, shades or TV series would a Filipino ever wanted to possess or have in mind???
If your answer is as good as mine, Its the common practice that Filipinos really love to do and to have.
This is what these foreigners are seeing in us.
I still dream but hoping it will happen in my life time.
Lastly to Pogito, continue remitting your hard currency so that our PGMA will have funds to make a better Phils.