Loving our neighbor is at the heart of rebuilding our nation

By Boogie Boydon

Editor’s note: This article was originally written for Ang Bagong Pinoy by the author. He has given us permission to re-publish it in this blog.

A sense of despair is in our midst. A growing feeling of helplessness and hopelessness pervades our day-to-day lives with more and more Filipinos quietly and patiently simply waiting for an opportunity to bolt from what they perceive as a God-forsaken nation on the brink of collapse. The inability to muster enough numbers to mount another People Power is taken by some as a sign of growing apathy within our ranks. Some people say that the apathy is actually a reflection of heightened mistrust and lack of confidence in our institutions of justice, law-enforcement and governance.

In 1987, American essayist James Fallows wrote that we have a “damaged culture” and went on to say that “because of (this) fragmentation, this lack of useful nationalism, people treat each other worse in the Philippines than in any other Asian country I have seen …” People bristled at his seemingly callous conclusions then but now that we seem to be facing a blank wall in trying to explain why and how this “damaged culture” came about, we find that our history of successive colonization that gave us a frail and confused consciousness to begin with, coupled with the decades of psychological cues we have imbued along the way to what we are now, are worthy of a second look.

I belong to a generation who grew up thinking that our problems will be solved by a masked and flying crusader, a “Darna” within our midst who can solve all our problems without us lifting a finger to do it ourselves. And so we vote to office our varied brands of “heroes” and place our full hope in them, only to be frustrated when they do not live up to our image of a “Lastikman” or a “Captain Barbell.” We do not realize that the solution to our problems could have been within our grasp to start with if only we took it upon ourselves to participate fully in the task of solving them.

Or perhaps we thought that we can be our own “Darna” and imagined a supernatural intervention amidst an apparition of a quick fix. We waited patiently for that elusive one-time meteorite stone that will give us the super powers we long for. We relished the hope given to us by the promise that with the flick of a finger, the lighting of a candle will transform our “Cofradian” blackness into a ravishing “Tisay,” or the wearing of a magic “kamison” will transform our ugly-duckling stature to a beauty and elegance fit for royalty. Thus the lure of the sweepstake, the jueteng and a parade of game shows that promise instant millions that would give us a rags-to-riches experience have time and again proven to be irresistible. Of course nowadays the candle of Cofradia may very well have been replaced by the modern-day Glutathione but that is beside the point.

So we tenaciously hang on and with unwavering resilience are able to withstand the seeming hopelessness and helplessness of our daily grind. At the back of our minds is the hope that we will one day be rewarded with an amulet from the sky that will endow us with extraordinary capabilities that will magically eradicate all our miseries.

The likes of “Da King” FPJ and other screen heroes of the same genre showed us that we can withstand all ridicule, sufferings and pain because in the end we will have the final say and our tormentors will have the comeuppance they so much deserve. “May araw ka din” is what we silently mumble to ourselves in reference to all the Paquito and Romy Diazes and Max Alvarados in our lives.

We have generations of Filipinos who grew up exposed to the antics of the likes of Mang Nano played by actor-comedian Pugo in “Tang-ta-rang-tang” and “Si Tatang Kasi” who flaunt their capability to put one over their neighbor as simply being “ma-abilidad” or “wais.” And it’s not just Mang Nano to whom we owe it to. Decades of comedians after him have practically spun their antics around the same theme: It is not wrong to do something bad, as long as you can get away with it. We have glamorized this part of their comical repertoire to the point that we have begun thinking the same way ourselves. When we encounter a long queue that would definitely inconvenience us, we easily succumb to the temptation of having a friend or even a “fixer” facilitate things for us so that we will not have to go through the long line. And when we are able to finish ahead of others, we gloat at our resourcefulness without realizing that we have added to our neighbor’s agony because the time that would have rightfully been theirs was spent processing our transaction and have unduly extended their pain of waiting. As Erly de Guzman of Galing Pilipino is wont to say, “Ang gulang naging galing” and we think that being able to put one over our neighbor as a sign of our being “maabilidad” and “wais” is an achievement to be proud of..

A quick search of what’s out there regarding Mang Nano revealed this write up about a movie “Nukso ng Nukso” which Pugo did in 1960 :

“In Nukso nang Nukso, Pugo is Mang Nano Batekabesa, the wily but lovable ‘manggagantso’ who concocts the most ingenuous scams to finance his little vices, like jueteng or cockfighting.”

Talk about role models and screen heroes!

Put all of the aforementioned together and a clearer picture emerges. We want to rise from an impoverished or disadvantaged state we are in but either:

* we feel that somebody ought to do it for us because we long for a superhero to rescue us from our sorry state; or
* we hope to do it ourselves but are too lazy to work for it and thus desperately cling to the arrival of a quick-fix that will magically transform our lives.

So we quietly endure our hardships while waiting for the time to “have our day.” Then whenever an opportunity presents itself where we can put one over our neighbor we grab it with gusto and relish and gloat at the thought that we have once more displayed our being “maabilidad” and “wais.” It somehow eases the pain of discomfort of our disadvantaged state. After a while the distorted sense of “galing” at being so “wais” above the rest has become so pervasive that it has become a natural high that we indulge in it purely for the simple joy of feeling good.

Sure, we may have felt guilty at times because of our largely Christian upbringing. After all, we used to be the only Christian nation in Asia. But we have become so adept at rationalizing our shortcomings that we have managed to develop a value system that is so convolutedly flexible and interchangeable.

When I was asked whether the ideals listed in “Ang ulirang Pinoy” are interchangeable in rank I said “No.” They are listed precisely in that order because they represent a hierarchy of values. In fact, the order that they are supposed to be appreciated and implemented in one’s life is as important as the values that they contain. Without putting significance to the way that they are ordered is to invite ourselves to fall prey to a distorted sense of morals. We have to learn to dichotomize and prioritize whenever we are faced with the dilemma of having to choose between two seemingly positive values. Otherwise we end up with Mass-going, communion-receiving politicians who do not even bat an eyelash in protecting their cronies in the name of “pakikisama” and “utang na loob” because they put a premium on their fear of losing peer approval more than their fear of God.

Yes we are a Christian nation but we have fallen short of our Christian heritage. We have learned to love ourselves but have continuously struggled over the “loving our neighbor as we love ourselves” part. In 2005 when I started the forum of Ang Bagong Pinoy it came out of a frustration that 20 years after EDSA 1 we have hardly anything to show for our victory. The son that I carried on the streets of EDSA who was barely 1 year old then has now graduated from college. A generation has passed. We were greatly moved by the experience of EDSA but it seems we have barely moved since then.

We can’t keep on casting the blame on others without looking at ourselves first. We can’t keep on casting the first stone as if we have no sin that merits a stone being cast our way. We have to try to first effect the change that we want to see in others in ourselves.

Strive to be a better person. Strive to be a more compassionate neighbor. Strive to love our neighbor as ourselves. Strive to be a good citizen of this country. As Alexander Lacson has written in his book, we can start with “twelve little things every Filipino can do to help our country.” And then perhaps the dream of a better Philippines will become a closer reality. Loving our neighbor is at the heart of rebuilding our nation.

As Teacher Nelia Sarcol has so clearly expressed in her Filipino ideology of the Pearl Principle, “strive not just to change from within but to effect change as well within our sphere of influence.” For example, if someone cuts into my lane while I’m driving, I will not curse the person nor pass judgment on him or her because I do not know his/her personal circumstances and I’m not in a position to judge. But I can always influence my wife, my children and other people close to me not to do the same. I will be doing both out of love for my neighbor. Those whom I influence will also try to effect changes within their respective spheres. In due time this will all come full circle. When that time comes, there might not even be a need to cast a stone at all.

The miracle of Couples for Christ ’s Gawad Kalinga has already shown the way to what the transforming love of Christ can do to ordinary people and what these ordinary people can do to their neighbors because of the transforming love of Christ

Let us not tire of doing the little things that love requires. Day by day let us strive to build a character steeped in love and imbued with compassion. During the graduation rites of my youngest child, their First Honor said in her speech, “To reach our objective, we must not tire of doing the little things every day, for in the end, all of these things add up.”

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